Megan, over at The Momhood has decided that our ‘assignment’ for Prompt Stomp 6, should be to give Free Association Writing a go. No word prompts, just start writing………….
While Soul-Strolling this morning, my thoughts were on an on-going conversation my husband and I have been having lately regarding his upcoming eligibility for retirement…….his question being “Should I stay or should I go NOW?”
When he and I got together 13 1/2 years ago, we started off with nothing. I mean big fat Zero nothing. I initiated my divorce. It was a long time coming. My oldest was away at college, my son a senior in high school, my youngest in 8th grade. To make things easier for them, I chose to not pursue any form of monies. I just wanted to be done with my ex. The house was my children’s home, and always would be. It wasn’t mine. So I signed over ‘my half.’ I walked away with my clothes, my Tracker, and a Weber Grill (still got that baby and use it all the time!)
My husbands scenario, I won’t/can’t go into details, but suffice it to say we were starting complete over. And we did. Together. We started out sleeping on an air mattress on a friends floor. Started a small business. Found a small house to rent. Lost a business. Got married. Ate peanut butter and jelly, soup made from chicken backs, Banquet Pot-Pies. We did what we had to do. But we did it, Together.
When we picked up and moved down here, it was on a wing and a prayer with about $400 in our pockets. We had a place to live, but that was it. We were up for the adventure. He found work. We settled in. I started volunteering at our library. We grew, Together.
We’ve been Blessed to be living a dream, here on this little island. But with all the good, there will, inevitabley be some bad. Where once work was enjoyable, there is now much disfunction and dissatisfaction. He’s lost the light, the sparkle in his eyes. My man’s Spirit is slowly dying from all this ‘stuff.’ So, our conversations of late has been revolving about his getting out sooner than later. Can we make it?!?!? My answer, hell yeah!! We’ve made it with much less.
I’ve had the feeling this part of our journey was/is coming to an end for a while now. I’ve been journaling about it. When he started talking more and more about feeling antsy and time for a change, I let him read some of my journal….know what I saw?! The light start to come back in his eyes.
He’s ready. I’m in his corner. Will he leave before February, that’s totally up to him. Our humble beginning brought us Together. We’ve grown Together. We’ve built this crazy, little life Together. As long as I can have the occasional jar of chunky peanut butter, I’m ready to start the next leg of our journey, Together.
Scared…Yep. Excited….Totally. Playing it safe…..no way.