This morning, I pulled one of my old journals off the shelf. I do this yearly, around my birthday, to revisit myself, and to remind myself of where I was, and how far I’ve come, or not come. The paragraph below, was printed and taped into a journal entry…..
Loneliness, terrible aching loneliness, is all she has ever known. She was locked away when she was very young. Her owners were afraid of giving her freedom. She might fly away and never come back. She might not love them. They showed her love in the only ways they knew how. They gave her shelter and fed her well. They talk to her and treat her like the pet she’s become. They don’t realize they’ve killed her spirit, robbed her of her true nature. “Let Me Free,” she cries in song. She doesn’t know what “free” means, but she has a faint glimmer, a dream, a longing. Her wings know the feeling of flight even though she’s never soared. Her feathers dream of rustling through the breezes she’s never known. “Set Me Free,” she cries. Her soul is anguished; still she feels no feeling. She is numb. ~unknown Source~
[My Spirit knows what freedom is, but in this life, as this Linda-person, I’ve not experienced freedom in the way I know I can. I’ve been locked away, a great Spirit living a shadow life of the existence she is meant to know……I mourn the loss of my freedom.]
As a loner by nature, I do know, there is a distinct difference, from being alone and extreme loneliness. I know what it feels like to live in a house full of people, yet feel immense loneliness. For me…alone = good….loneliness=sucks.