Feeling Small Doesn’t Define Me….

This weeks challenge over in the Sandbox Writing Challenge we’re asking ourselves the following…..

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL SMALL?

Well, the answer to that question came to mind the other day, prior to knowing what this weeks challenge was going to be. I was already ‘writing’ a blog post in my mind about it when this challenge arrived in my email this morning………what makes me feel small?! How Replaceable I am……………

Why do I think and feel that way..what brought it to mind?! I was thinking back to my bakery job. I LOVED my job..I was good at what I did. Very early on and very quickly I was given more and more responsibility. I worked my butt off for two years as a part time employee…I let it be known that I was interested in going full time whenever the opportunity presented itself……….when the time did pop up, they actually brought in another worker, from another store…..I was pissed. When I inquired as to why, all I got was a lot of run around……I tried to stay on, but when she started taking credit for work I did, I knew it was time to go….they didn’t blink an eye when I left………I WAS REPLACEABLE………this thought got me to thinking………………………………

 ……..about my father, and how he tossed me aside 10 years ago……what he really did was toss me aside long before that…when he remarried. I was 20, married and had a child when he married a woman with 2 young daughters….daughters he basically raised. His wife, whenever I would call, made it a point to inform me that he was ‘busy’ helping one of the girls with homework, or he was outside tossing a ball with the other one……….All the things he never did with me, he was doing with them……and if that wasn’t enough…if he said it once, he said it a thousand times, that they were his family now……when I married at 19, not only did he not give me away, he didn’t come. I heard through the grapevine he walked his step daughter down the isle……I WAS REPLACEABLE…..

 
But, I know that feeling this way isn’t on them, it’s on me..and I am the only one who can take and make that feeling disappear……so, yes, knowing how easily Replaceable I may be can and does make me feel small……but the fact that I’m aware of it helps empower me to counter that with how much I Am Worth!!! 
So..replace me….It’s Your Loss! I am not small and insignificant…I am Tremendously WorthWhile!!!! 

Photo Credits:

Big Chair: Couragecrusade.com

Know your worth quote: Anupturnedsoul