My Jim ❤️

“Beauty exists not in what is seen and remembered, but in what is felt and never forgotten.” ~Johnathan Jena~ 

This quote popped up this morning. I felt it an appropriate way to start this blog post..which will be one of the hardest ones I’ve ever had to write…those of you who ‘know’ me, know I was part of a team, Linda & Jim. Jim was my best friend, my partner, my husband, Soul Mate. He was the other half of my whole. The keeper of my heart.

On Friday, I straightened his suspenders, kissed him goodbye and said “I Love You Husband”, not knowing it would be for the very last time. I lost my Jim Friday afternoon,,his huge huge heart, one filled with so much love for me, burst.

I am broken hearted. I now have a huge emptiness inside of me. I am numb. I cry. Yet,  I also have moments of peace. I feel him. I know he is with me. He’s already shown me some signs, which make the darkness of each day a little brighter. My inner light has been dulled by his passing, yet I know it still flickers, and it will shine brightly once again. If I didn’t allow that to happen, I would only mar the memory of the amazing beautiful Soul my husband was. I know he would be royally pissed at me if I let the darkness over take me, especially with how far we’ve come and the obstacles we overcame together.

Our beliefs, our Faith and our undying Love for each other will be what helps  me get through the days and weeks ahead. As I said, I know he is with me, and I take great comfort in that. I will hold on to his memory tightly and never let go….

My children were with me this weekend. Don’t know what I would have done wihtout them….the kind messages I’ve received over the course of the last few days has been overwhelming. Apparently Jim touched more lives then he ever could have imagined…..he was liked and loved by many….this helps fill my heart.

The outpouring of love and kindness from the community has been incredible. I’ve more food than I know what to do with. Together I’ve shed tears and hugs with many.

On Friday evening, when I got home….I was lost. I wandered the rooms for a bit, eventually curling up with a cup of tea waiting for my children to arrive. I had a wonderful conversation with Lady Calen ( I Love You C). At some point, these words popped into my head, so I jotted them down….

How do I pick up the pieces

How do I go on?

I wasn’t sure if and when I’d be able to get back to them. Well, I woke this morning around 3a.m….looking at the above photo of Jim and I, and as I was talking to him…words came to me….

How do I pick up the pieces?

How do I go on?

In the blink of an eye

My life has changed.

The fact is….

Your gone.

Your gone from this physical world,

But deep inside me you’ll remain.

I feel your are with me,

And that will have to do,

Today I begin a new chapter 

For moving slowly forward is what I have to do.

A Friend shared this beautiful song with me……

My Jim,

I love you now…I’ll love you forever.

Heaven gained one helluva Angel…

I feel your wings wrapped around me…

Never let me go ❤️

38 thoughts on “My Jim ❤️

  1. Linda – what a beautiful tribute to the most special person in your life. Gone, yet not gone. This song is just perfect. So glad you’re getting lots of love and support. {{{hugs}}} Raili xxx

  2. Oh my god, I’m so, so sorry. I don’t know what to say. You know I believe in being contacted by those who’ve passed. I know he’s still with you and will be until you’re reunited. I can’t begin to express my condolences, but know we’ll have you in our thoughts. 😔

    • Thank you SOB… I say it sucks….really sucks. But life has to go on.Jim would be mad at me if I sat and wallowed…and that’s not me anyway..I have my breakdowns.. but I also have my peaceful times.. he’s keeping me on check

      • Please take care of yourself through this, whatever that means. I know you have lots of support, but I’ll offer an ear whenever, if needed. Again, I’m so, so sorry for this loss. 😔

  3. Linda, my heart is breaking for you. I know you are a survivor and will pull the pieces of your life back together and experience happiness – just not the same way. Sending you love.

  4. Oh Linda, I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you are going through, and wish I had the right words. Praying for strength for you my friend, with love.

  5. Dear Linda, reading your words leave tears in my eyes and goosebumps on my skin. I am so sorry for your loss. I can’t begin to imagine the pain of losing your beloved husband. Thank God that you have some support and know moments of peace. Please accept my condolences and be strong in the knowledge that Jim is always with you. Blessings.

  6. So sorry dragonfly sister, my tears and heart go out to you. May you find comfort in those quiet moments of his presence. Lots of love ❤

  7. I’m so sorry Linda, it must be so hard for you right now… I’m thinking about you and sending you lots of love…you are such an inspiration, and you are always so positive… By shining so brightly here with optimism, you give us all permission to do the same…. I sometimes read these words to my students at the end of a yoga class, and they often remind me of you, Linda:

    “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
    Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
    It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
    We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
    You are a child of God.
    Your playing small does not serve the world.
    There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
    We are all meant to shine, as children do.
    We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
    It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
    And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
    As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson.

    Remember Linda, death is harder for thosewhostay behind and have to stay with that emptiness….

    I love you!


  8. Oh my God, LInda. I just saw this!
    What a shock!
    You two are one of those couples that you think – they have what it takes. They have it. I always enjoyed your writings of your love for him – for each other. I am so sorry!
    Sorry seems so trite. It’s so much bigger than that. So completely and utterly sad.
    As other people have said, I hope you are really gentle with you. I know you are. You have what it takes to get through this even though it feels absolutely unbearable. I’m glad you feel him with you.
    But I know you want to hold him, to see him and do things together. That longing, so full. Everything reminds you of him. So many little grieving parts within the huge. So many waves, some gentle, some tidal. I am thinking of you deeply with heartfelt tenderness right now.
    It’s a beautiful thing you have with him. Beyond forever.

    • Thank you so much Mary. You definite describe everything perfectly and beautifully. I’m doing ok…..Jims physical presence is missed so very deeply…but I do know he is with me..I feel him, and it helps… the meantime I need to move forward…and that’s what I am doing..I know that’s what he wants for me to because it feels right….
      Thank you again for the beautiful words…they help too 💛

  9. Like Mary, I didn’t get the notification of this first email. What a beautiful tribute. I’m glad you pulled all your words together and wrote it down. You should print it off and put it in the back of that picture so you’ll always have it and Jim close to your heart. Another couple days, girlfriend, and you guys can tackle Jim’s shed. It’s all coming together just the way Jim wants it. You are ever in my heart and prayers. Talk soon.
    Love you, Linda. ❤

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