Saying Goodbye February..

I Made It…well almost…10 more hours to go….yesterday was my 54th birthday…it was ok. I had a fabulous dream of adventure with Jim..read his letters to me and drank some wine.

Today…Soul Strolled down to the lake on this spring like day……….I’m feeling ok. Have I turned a corner?!?! I feel ‘different’, in a good way. More comfort, more peace. I’ll take it. 

Made it through another month without you.

You’re so far away,

Yet,

So near…..

I feel your touch 

On the breeze..

I see you in the sky,

Disguised as Dragonfly wings…

©lindafedroff_february28,2017

I Spy…..

Friday…I’m Trying To Like You…

Ok folks. My Jim died 19 weeks ago today. This afternoon. 2:50 to be exact (at least that’s what his death certificate says) I know he was gone earlier then that. Anyway, I’m trying to find a way to not dislike Fridays so much. 
Today, it feels like spring….I went for a walk, sat by the lake. I came upon a ‘dragonfly’ leaf lying in the road….

we both love the warm weather..I wanted to try and make today a celebration as apposed to dreading it…..so far so good.

Hugs from a tree..a really good thing 💚

In life you healed me.

In life you helped me grow.

You opened my heart,

You gave me strength,

You gave me room to sow.

With your death 

Comes more healing,

More growth is happening too.

Though my heart is broken, 

My strength is shining through.
My journey is now a solo one.

Something I wasn’t ready for.

But my backpack is ready,

Your loves within me,

It’s time to open that door…..

©lindafedroff_february2017

Happy Birthday In Heaven 💛

Happy Birthday in Heaven….

I Miss you Husband

My Beloved Best Friend..

Your smile, your laugh

Your love that transcends…

On this, your first birthday

That we are apart

I draw strength from our love

And when the tears start…..

I’ll cry my river

While deep within my soul

I feel you with me

And for a little while, I’ll pretend I’m whole.

©lindafedroff_february2017

This Photo Captures Jims Essence Perfectly ❤😊

Thank You…Today Was A Good Day…

The past few days has proven to be an emotional roller-coaster for me…and I have to be honest and tell you I DONT DO ROLLER-COASTERS!! 😬

With that out of the way, I’d like to Thank Y’All who have been traveling and sharing this journey with me. Just knowing your ‘out there’ means the world to me. Your kind words, encouragement and virtual hugs really do help. ❤ as do finding hearts when you least expect them…….

So, my Jims Birthday is right around the corner (Tuesday). If he was still here, he’d of been smokin’ and grilling this weekend away. My son Brad, stepped in. He got out the smoker, and smoked the last rack of ribs Jim bought. We enjoyed a beautiful day, outside. Ate good food, toasted my man and shared memories. Healing….one moment, one memory at a time……

Yesterday….

Yesterday was for shit….it marked 18 weeks since he left and it finally caught up with me….I cried..I drank..and I cried some more…….it was long over do…

Had a rough day yesterday….

The worst since he left.

Tears, sobbing and puffy eyes

Left me feeling spent….
It was a long time coming

Something I’ve put off

Avoidance isn’t the answer

Acceptance at all cost….
I know time is a healer

There is no calendar with grief

I’m grateful for the purge I had

It did bring some relief…..
Today is a new day

Sun is shining bright

The purge left me lighter

I know I’ll be all right….

©lindafedroff_february2017