Ok…..so…. Woke up from a dream..and before I could ‘lose’ it, I jotted this down at 2:54 this morning….It may not make sense to some of you….but those who know me know I have a slight love addiction to peanut butter……actually Jim and I always said we are as close as Peanut Butter & Jelly on squishy Wonder Bread 😊🥜
Having a not so good afternoon……things kinda snuck up on me……….let it out grabbed my journal and here’s what spilled out…..sometimes I get tired of hearing how strong I am..I know I am strong..but that doesn’t mean I’m not in pain. ‘They’ don’t want to know……..😢
So, as I’m choosing to ‘take back’ my Fridays and celebrate Jim and our life….I thought I’d share this little song. On the occasional rainy afternoon, we’d drink and talk and sing and dance….heck, we’d do that on sunny afternoons as well…..Jim had an amazing singing voice..he was kind and tell me I did as well…lol
This is one I always loved singing to him…….so Babe, I’m pouring the wine 🍷🍷 and I’m singing this one for you ❤🎤🎼
The only thing sadder than undiscovered potential is unused potential, and you must learn on this journey that deep down you already have all of the answers. The only way to do that is to live the questions. That’s my best guess at least. I don’t know for sure, but I’m okay with that. I’m okay with not knowing. I’m alright with chasing mysteries.———
This quote appeared in my newsfeed this morning via Jeremy @longdistancelovebombs and I couldn’t help but smile at his timing…….
In 3 weeks time, I’ll be embarking on a new chapter in my life. Packing up my Subaru and heading to NC for a new start……without My Jim’s physical presence. Oh hell, he’ll be riding shot-gun with me (small keepsake with his ashes will always be with me) as well as Spiritually, but this part of my journey is mine……..and quite honestly, I’m scared sh*tless!
Next month (the 14th) will be 6 months since he was called home. At times, it still seems so surreal, yet I know it’s my reality………. But I’m ready..living in limbo this way is no way to live…..I’m ready to chase my mystery, live my questions….and listen to my gut….see what I’m made of. Jim Always believed in me and my potential..long before I ever believed in myself……
Now it’s time to take my own leap of Faith.
On Silent Wings He Flies…Forever To Watch Over Me ❤