I’ve been traveling this road of grief now for 236 days…it’s seems insane to me that that much time has gone by so quickly. I’m not using the word quickly lightly here…..time did not stand still for me…yes, in those first weeks I felt like I was living outside of my body, watching someone else doing all that needed to be done, like I was in an altered state..I call it my surreal reality………..but the days, weeks and months rolled by and are rolling by in a blink…….
In the meantime, my grief has really taken hold. Maybe because I’m finally ‘home’ and the newness of all this, my new reality, is hitting me. Jim is not coming back. Yes, I carry him in my heart, and yes I feel him and know he’s guiding me……..but when I sit outside, by myself, the enormity of it all does crash down on me……..
I came across this piece yesterday. This poem, written by Jodi Wium, nailed Grief……..
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Loss hits different people differently. In my family, we have lost several people in unexpected and tragic ways. This poem though is about loss and the soul.
What happens in our soul when we experience loss is significant, and our society may not respond how we wish, how we need. This poem is for those of us who have been there. Who have no words to talk about their loss, just a feeling. We eventually become friends with grief. It becomes a companion. A known quality to our life.
This poem is also meant to inspire. We breathe through our tears. It’s not one day at a time, sometimes it is one breath at a time. If you are suffering the darkness of loss, know that there is light too, and that you will love again.***
When you are friends with grief
You sit still when someone suffers a lossThe memory of your own loss washes over you, and you relive its tidal wave
When you are friends with grief
People who know you remember who you are
They see you, but you are not present
They talk through you, over you, but not to you
But to be friends with grief
Is also very good
You know how dark darkness really isYou know that the light does return
You know that you can cry and scream
And that is your truth
When you are friends with grief
You can ask it questions
How long will I suffer? What is this about? Will I love again? Will I heal?
Grief answersLike an echo from the mountain top
First though it takes you to the bottom
of the raging river
Without a lifeboat
Where it’s only you and the rushing water
You see light, but you are not sure
If you are going to make it or fall further down the rocky canyon
Yet you feel it’s okay, you are willing to die too
But first you just want an answer
Grief answersAnd says, You have made it this far
One more minute —
That’s all you need
One more minute
If you can make it through
You breathe through your tears
Your sadness stabs you and
You stab it back
You decide to fightYou will accept the loss
But you also accept the challenge
You sit down with grief
You explain you need to understand
You want to be friends
Grief accepts
It explains,
You never will be the same
You will be with others
But it will never be the same
You will love
Yet it will never be the same
But you will feel light
And it will warm you
And the You you know
Will also have died
But you will still live
Grief will sit with youWhether you need its company or not
You are never alone
Because you have known grief
And it has known you.
Yes, that poem is spot on! Big hug to you, Linda. I think of you often and send love. Isn’t it weird how time passes? And how the waves come and go, some tidal and some lapping at your heart. Some gently wash over your ankles and the love is so so deep. Stabbing and loving all at the same time.
Kinda says it all. Hang tough, my dear. It will get easier. 😊😊
Those of us that have suffered such a loss, we deal with it all in our own way. Some may not show their grief, some do show it all, some just get on with it but not for a second does one forget. I could not get rid of David’s jacket that hung in the hall or his cap. I laid the table with a place for him without realizing it, then finally my Sons said to stop. Death of a loved one is so very hard, but God is there, God will be there by Jim’s side by your side poppet. God Bless.
Most of us are touched by grief to a greater or lesser extent. It hurts. We constantly grieve but I guess we do learn to live with it. All anyone can do is offer love and support. There are no magic words. We are just there with our empathy and compassion – to listen and offer our best wishes.
That poem captures the heart of it. As hard as it is, it is also comforting to know that on this journey of grief you are not alone. Others walk the same path each in their own way. You’re doing Ok, Linda. Bless you xxx
Yes, she sure did nail it… Must reblog this. Look at all you’ve been through, my dear.<3
Left you a couple pictures on my blog…
I saw them ❤❤❤ will have to save them! I think I need to start shopping for a laptop…I need a computer !
Would certainly be easier than using a tablet for sure. Or a Chromebook-type thing. They’re really inexpensive, but there’s no memory on them to add programs, etc.
i just stumbled by, read a bit just wanted to talk, felt u would understand and felt i could understand u. for u have gone through what i fear most….. i live with the fear every moment
💝🌹
Thank you for sharing the inspirational poem.
Thank you 😊
Big hugs to you. It is challenging. Sometimes people do not realize that grief looks different for everyone. Sometimes we can express it in the moment and other times it can be bottled up and the pain released years later. I hope things are getting better for you. Sending positive vibes and love your way and hope you will do the same for me too.
Thank you very much for your kind words and most definitely..positive vibes mojo and love your way!
I am nearing 10,000 days in my journey. Sending positive thoughts your way. My advice sounds easier than it is…just take one day at a time and don’t ever be afraid to feel whatever you need to feel… https://tenthousanddays.blog/
Thank you so much ❤ it helps having folks ‘out there’ who know how I feel as I don’t have many friends who can remotely relate to what I’m feeling and going through
It’s so tough with friends. Some just aren’t equipped. If you read my story you will see many went away, but some surprised me in big ways.
Wow such a beautiful friendship with Grief although no one wants it’s friendship into the times life drags.
Let nature give you all the courage and freshness you always wanted.
Here, I am sending YOU showers of blessings & good wishes.
🌷😃
Shiva🎶
Thank you Shiva!!!!