My Awakening…..

Well folks, after 307 days, I’m emerging from my Fog. It took some time, but I’m beginning to see things through different, clearer eyes. A few ah-ha moments, a whole lotta tears have helped me break-through some of my self-imposed barriers that I didn’t even really know were there……….this song popped up this morning and then these words just spilled out….

 

My Awakening….

 

He called me out on it…

He helped me to see.

Though I wasn’t living in the past

The present was lost to me….

 

I was holding on to ‘our’ dreams

Afraid to let go

Afraid if I did that

I’d have no where to go….

 

But that wasn’t the truth

Cause by letting go

I was giving myself permission

To move forward on my own…

 

My happiness I was attaching

To his memory

Unfair on all accounts

But mostly unfair to me..

 

I am responsible for my happiness

I am responsible for my life..

Letting go and moving on

Is also my right…

 

Doesn’t mean our love is gone

Not a chance in hell of that

But he is there and I am here

And that is just a fact….

 

I’m coming out of the Fog

Seeing a new path..

Many forks and detours

But Im drawing up my map…

 

Clarity is an amazing thing

With open eyes and heart

My Spirit is Awakening

I’m ready to start……

I’M READY TO FLY

@lindafedroff_august2017

Jim will always be with me…his guidance I’ll always look for. But, I am wholly responsible for my happiness. I’ve been telling myself that happiness is unattainable to me, that I may never be happy again…how unfair that is to myself….how unfair to Jims memory. As I move forward, living my now according to Linda and not Linda & Jim, I will look within, I will make peace and I will live.

Special thanks to Lady Calen for Always being there since this journey started, hell before it started…you’ve held my hand so to speak…you listened and still you don’t think I’m crazy!!! 😄

T….you’ve known me a long time. Thank you for not treating me with kid gloves…and for that bit of tough love. I know you loved making me speechless!! 😄