It’s been 11 months since this journey into widowhood began for me……how is that even possible?!?!? 48 weeks without My Jim’s physical presence. I miss him. My journey has seen me living through 3 states, buying a home and struggling emotionally to figure this new life of mine out. I’m no closer to figuring it out then I was in the beginning…yet, somehow, I find myself here…..and this new person death has/is creating is still lost and trying to find her way. But, She/I is determined…….
I awoke before the sun, and decided to take my coffee and watch the sunrise….something I haven’t been doing much of lately. I’ve begun to ask myself if it’s a form of self sabotage, not allowing myself to enjoy those things Jim and I loved as a couple?!?! If that’s what I’m subconsciously doing, I need to put a stop to it, and hopefully by admitting it to myself maybe I’ve begun to do that?!?!?
The sunrise inspires…..I found some comfort and peace this morning, and I wrote.
Slowly, oh so very slowly, my voice is returning……
Even at my lowest
The darkness cannot
Will not
Subdue me….
I am a source of light
my inner spark
Glows..
Becoming brighter
Like the rising sun…
©lindafedroff_sept2017
Spiritual Dragonfly 
Grief is a process that cannot be rushed. Take your time and don’t be critical of yourself.
❤🙏
Linda – it sounds as if you are doing fine. Don’t be afraid to enjoy yourself and take pleasure in nature. You shared that with Jim and he’d want you to continue. Grief takes its course. Nature heals. Many thoughts.
As always Thank you Opher for always being out there 🌳💚
Yes, you most certainly are a light! It’s ok to start letting your “whimsy” out when it peeks its head up. Jim would want that. Remember, though the grief is still there and will be for as long as it takes, it’s not a case of either/or, but both. That’s the way emotions are. Baby steps, kiddo. ❤
While riding these emotional waves of mine …I’m ready to start letting the whimsy in and out 😄
Did it strike you when you wrote this just how much and how far (literally and emotionally) you have travelled in the last 11 months? That’s a lot XXX
Ya know Raili, sometimes I lose sight of that…but then I think Dam it’s crazy how far I’ve come, and yes I have my moments, but I’m realizing it’s ok to be ok 😊
You sure are OK – more than, in fact 🙂
Thanks Raili!!! Having the support and love of friends such as yourself have truly been a help and a blessing! ❤
It’s the least we can do 🙂 xxx
xoxox