I Will Find My Shine ☀️ I Will Find My Voice

It’s been 11 months since this journey into widowhood began for me……how is that even possible?!?!? 48 weeks without My Jim’s physical presence. I miss him. My journey has seen me living through 3 states, buying a home and struggling emotionally to figure this new life of mine out. I’m no closer to figuring it out then I was in the beginning…yet, somehow, I find myself here…..and this new person death has/is creating is still lost and trying to find her way. But, She/I is determined…….

I awoke before the sun, and decided to take my coffee and watch the sunrise….something I haven’t been doing much of lately. I’ve begun to ask myself if it’s a form of self sabotage, not allowing myself to enjoy those things Jim and I loved as a couple?!?! If that’s what I’m subconsciously doing, I need to put a stop to it, and hopefully by admitting it to myself maybe I’ve begun to do that?!?!?

The sunrise inspires…..I found some comfort and peace this morning, and I wrote.

Slowly, oh so very slowly, my voice is returning……

Even at my lowest

The darkness cannot

Will not

Subdue me….

I am a source of light

my inner spark

Glows..

Becoming brighter

Like the rising sun…

©lindafedroff_sept2017

12 thoughts on “I Will Find My Shine ☀️ I Will Find My Voice

  1. Linda – it sounds as if you are doing fine. Don’t be afraid to enjoy yourself and take pleasure in nature. You shared that with Jim and he’d want you to continue. Grief takes its course. Nature heals. Many thoughts.

  2. Yes, you most certainly are a light! It’s ok to start letting your “whimsy” out when it peeks its head up. Jim would want that. Remember, though the grief is still there and will be for as long as it takes, it’s not a case of either/or, but both. That’s the way emotions are. Baby steps, kiddo. ❤

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