Going Back Is Helping Me Move Forward

I walked away from Chincoteague a little over a year ago. I turned and didn’t look back.

I was headed into a great unknown…..a new journey was before me.

Over that time, I discovered I had more in me then I ever knew. Yes, I am strong. Yes, I am capable.

I’ve grieved. I’ve cried.

I’m surviving…

Though I still grieve and I still cry

I’m beginning to thrive. I am alive.

Going back there, I had no clue what to expect, or how I would

feel, or what I would find.

What I found was closure…closure I didn’t even know I needed

or wanted. Visiting the place where Jim died, I felt him there.

It felt good. It felt right. I felt peace.

By revisiting the place we called home, I found a piece of myself.

A piece I’d left behind. I feel, somehow, that by rediscovering that

missing piece, I’m a bit more whole then I was…….I rediscovered feelings…feelings

that reminded me that I Am Alive. Not only am I alive, but I want to live and feel

and grow. Pretty amazing stuff…..

Getting Jim’s memorial tattoo….was way cool. In his own handwriting, he’s

Forever memorialized on me as he is in my heart.

Reconnecting with those who helped me through those first weeks also proved

to be a humbling reawakening. Seeing and talking to them, I came to find that they

didn’t necessarily ‘abandoned’ me as I thought. That will not happen again.

So, by way of taking the Long Way Home, I’ve come home to North Carolina with a new view of my life. I know there will be sad days..as Jim’s loss is a part of my life. But, he will live on in my heart and in my memories, and will be with me wherever my journey takes me.

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