Alrighty now……it’s that time of the week again. The Sandbox Writing Challenge-Exercise 4 is at hand. Exercise 4 asks……..
Relaxation & Pleasure
Tell us a little bit about:
a) what relaxes you, and
b) what brings you pleasure.
Hmmmmmm….what relaxes me at this phase/stage of my life? A hot shower…glass of wine….. Putting on the relaxing sounds of either rain falling or peepers courtesy of my Relax Melodies App. But mostly, it’s time spent outside. When I feel like I’m losing it, be it stress, anxiety, grief/pain, sadness….I’ll go outside and hug my tree…..I can literally feel the tension, the grief, the pain..all of it, seep out of me.
OUTSIDE AMONGST NATURE
IS WHERE I NEED TO GO
AS I BLEED MY SADNESS
AND ALLOW MY PAIN TO FLOW….
As so what brings me pleasure…All of the above. Time spent with my children and grandchildren always brings me pleasure……a long phone conversation with a friend. Music!! Singing out loud and not giving a hoot who hears me (was singing/dancing right along with Lady Gaga in the frozen foods aisle of Harris Teeter and yes I did get some looks 🤣😳)
Reading a book and coming across words that speak to my heart as these words did today……”PRAYERS ARE ANSWERED IN WAYS WE DON’T CHOOSE. THE RIVER OF GRACE BUBBLES UP IN UNEXPECTED PLACES.” Last, but not least, remembering Him, remembering Us …Week 68 ❤😔
What I’ve come to understand as I continue on this journey is that I’ll ALWAYS miss Jim and the life we shared. It is because of our love that I find ways to relax and find pleasure. I owe it to myself and to him to LIVE. He would want and expect nothing less from me. I’m LIVING MY LIFE OUT LOUD FOR THE BOTH OF US!
Now don’t get me wrong….I still experience really crappy days. Before writing this post yesterday I broke down in tears while driving for no other reason then I miss him……this is part of my life and will be till the day we are reunited. But until we are, I refuse to allow the grief and pain to take over…….of course if I was answering these questions a year ago my answers would probably be a bit different…healing as far as I can tell, will be a lifetime thing. I feel that by allowing myself to enjoy some of these little things without guilt is paramount to my healing……..just my 2-cents.