Relaxing and Finding Pleasure In My Widow’s World

Alrighty now……it’s that time of the week again. The Sandbox Writing Challenge-Exercise 4 is at hand. Exercise 4 asks……..

`

Relaxation & Pleasure

Tell us a little bit about:

a) what relaxes you, and 

b) what brings you pleasure.

Hmmmmmm….what relaxes me at this phase/stage of my life? A hot shower…glass of wine….. Putting on the relaxing sounds of either rain falling or peepers courtesy of my Relax Melodies App. But mostly, it’s time spent outside. When I feel like I’m losing it, be it stress, anxiety, grief/pain, sadness….I’ll go outside and hug my tree…..I can literally feel the tension, the grief, the pain..all of it, seep out of me.

OUTSIDE AMONGST NATURE

IS WHERE I NEED TO GO

AS I BLEED MY SADNESS

AND ALLOW MY PAIN TO FLOW….

As so what brings me pleasure…All of the above. Time spent with my children and grandchildren always brings me pleasure……a long phone conversation with a friend. Music!! Singing out loud and not giving a hoot who hears me (was singing/dancing right along with Lady Gaga in the frozen foods aisle of Harris Teeter and yes I did get some looks 🤣😳)

Reading a book and coming across words that speak to my heart as these words did today……”PRAYERS ARE ANSWERED IN WAYS WE DON’T CHOOSE. THE RIVER OF GRACE BUBBLES UP IN UNEXPECTED PLACES.” Last, but not least, remembering Him, remembering Us …Week 68 ❤😔

What I’ve come to understand as I continue on this journey is that I’ll ALWAYS miss Jim and the life we shared. It is because of our love that I find ways to relax and find pleasure. I owe it to myself and to him to LIVE. He would want and expect nothing less from me. I’m LIVING MY LIFE OUT LOUD FOR THE BOTH OF US!

Now don’t get me wrong….I still experience really crappy days. Before writing this post yesterday I broke down in tears while driving for no other reason then I miss him……this is part of my life and will be till the day we are reunited. But until we are, I refuse to allow the grief and pain to take over…….of course if I was answering these questions a year ago my answers would probably be a bit different…healing as far as I can tell, will be a lifetime thing. I feel that by allowing myself to enjoy some of these little things without guilt is paramount to my healing……..just my 2-cents.

16 thoughts on “Relaxing and Finding Pleasure In My Widow’s World

  1. I was one of those people watching you! But I was the one smiling and clapping and egging you on!!

    Lovely post, Really mellow. It relaxed me just reading it. Thank you. 😇.

    Loved the words… “PRAYERS ARE ANSWERED IN WAYS WE DON’T CHOOSE. THE RIVER OF GRACE BUBBLES UP IN UNEXPECTED PLACES.” So so very true. 🙏🏻

  2. Pingback: Sandbox Writing Challenge 2018 — Exercise 4 | Impromptu Promptlings

  3. I’m not brave enough to sing in the store, but this past Christmas there was a lady and her daughter in the aisle over from me who was singing a Christmas song. I so enjoyed it I wanted to tell her. But the more I tried to catch up with her, the faster she moved! I think she thought I was stalking her! I did finally catch her, however, as she stopped to pick up some cheese. We had a lovely conversation! LOL

  4. Love the tree hug! That’s total grounding and letting The Mother heal us. Of course, that will be easier when the snow disappears, and the warm weather slips into place. There’s a song that I think best describes the idea of those who have crossed over, are just a breath away. Josh Groban sings it. It’s called, “To Where You Are,” and it’s helps me to release.

    Blessings

    Fim

  5. Hello as you made the comment on my post about being a widow, I came to check out your post ,, I love this post ,, I was a widow young, god bless you .. I can relate ..so as I follow your journey I hope you enjoy the great moments and the sad moments,, I know you prob had many other chats or talks but I too can offer, so thank you for visiting my blogs .hug for you

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