Do I Really Need To Impress?!?!

It’s that time again! The Sandbox Writing Challenge 2018-exercise 9. I hope you’re having fun playing in the sandbox with us. And maybe learning something about yourself? I so appreciate everyone’s contributions from last week. That challenge was a bit harder. But NOW comes the really creative part! (Evil grin…)

Actually this was also a hard challenge just to post because I realized as I was looking for pictures similar to the one in the book, the facial expression on the picture I chose was going to affect what you wrote. I matched it as best I could. So we’ll see what happens.

Imagine wanting to impress this woman. What would you say about yourself?

(And here’s a couple bonus questions for after you answer the prompt. How do you think different expressions on the picture would have affected your answer, or do you? What if it had been a group of younger women or a man or group of men? Really am trying to make a point here!)

As always, remember to include a link to this post on YOUR blog post. Or if your response isn’t overly long, feel free to leave it in the comment section below. If you would like to play with us and see the previous prompts, they’re listed in the menu at the top of the blog in The Sandbox Writing ChallengeBut please feel free to just jump in wherever we are at the moment! After all the prompts are really for YOU to get to know YOURSELF! So put your thinking caps on and have fun!!!

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I realize there are times when one needs to impress an individual (seeking employment as an example). That doesn’t pertain to me at the moment (thankfully).

Soooooooooooo……..

With that said, I’m not someone who looks to impress anyone. Not anymore. I stopped worrying about what others say or thought/think about me a long time ago. That’s not saying I intentionally look to shock or to come across unapproachable or unlikable..quite the opposite. I am an ambivert, who likes people.

It was my late husband (Wow..there’s a first…I’ve never referenced Jim that way in the 73 weeks/ 511 days he’s been gone), Jim, who really ‘got me’. I had a tendency to over-think things, apologize for everything that went wrong, even if it wasn’t my doing or fault. I was a people-pleaser. I wanted to be liked. I wanted and needed to be included….I would be, do or say whatever needed to in order to impress..in order to be liked..in order to ‘fit in’…yet not wanting to go ‘all out’ and draw attention to myself..instead wanting to blend in while being included….So, all the while, I never fully knew who I was…..my first go-round in the Sandbox helped me to excavate and discover so much of Me, Myself and I.

But it was Jim who opened my ‘eyes’ and my heart and helped me ‘see’……..with his love, encouragement and support, I grew into someone I liked and loved…and I still do. Even in death, his love transcends time….his support and belief in me I still feel…..and no longer do I feel the need to fit in or compromise who I am or what I believe.

I am a widow. Yet I don’t feel I fit the stereotype that some may have. It’s been brought to my attention a few times from some ‘concerned friends’ that I don’t act or look the part. Once again I am reminded that some people will get me, some have no clue. That’s not my problem.

So, in short, I’d answer that question with this answer……..I’d look said woman with the snarky face in the eyes and say……….with a smile, “Hello, my name is Linda, nice to meet you.”

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13 thoughts on “Do I Really Need To Impress?!?!

  1. So just what IS a stereotypical widow supposed to be like? In the last month I have come across a whole lot of them – isn’t that interesting in itself! – AND every single one of them is out enjoying life, travelling, doing things they have not had time or opportunity to do before. They are embracing life for themselves. I am sure each one of them has done the hard yards to get there, just like you, but they have grown into a new life and self. And found contentment, peace, excitement, newness…..

    • Well Raili,,,from the posts I read and messages I receive via widow groups I’m a part of and involved in tell a different story unfortunately…………there is a dammed if you do dammed if you don’t mentality from people who have no clue what it is to lose your spouse…..you shouldn’t be laughing..you shouldn’t be crying…….its not an easy feat to heal and find a way to live again under ‘normal’ circumstances….throw in the horrors of losing a spouse via suicide, addiction, violence … its ‘easy’ to offer ones advice and opinions and judge what one feels is the ‘wrong’ way to go about ones widow journey when your not living through it….the last thing many of us need is someone who has no clue offering advice

    • I was just about to ask this question. I guess they expect a dreary, miserable, lonely, sad and woe-is-me personality to become synonymous with a widow.
      In my honest opinion, these people with the stereotyping should take several seats. You are very much alive and should just do you, be you and be happy. I enjoyed reading your post.

  2. Pingback: The Sandbox Writing Challenge 2018 — Exercise 9 | Impromptu Promptlings

  3. “I had a tendency to over-think things, apologize for everything that went wrong, even if it wasn’t my doing or fault. I was a people-pleaser. I wanted to be liked. I wanted and needed to be included….I would be, do or say whatever needed to in order to impress..in order to be liked..in order to ‘fit in’…yet not wanting to go ‘all out’ and draw attention to myself..instead wanting to blend in while being included….So, all the while, I never fully knew who I was…..”

    That was me several years ago. I still have some of those tendencies, but I’m working on them, and, ta-da, they’re much less prevalent than they have been. Slowly but surely, as they say. I think I need to look into the Sandbox Challenge.

    My aunt lost her husband several years ago. An amazing man married to an amazing woman for an amazing marriage. She’s walking her own path of grief, but some relatives are pushing her to do this or that, thinking it’s good for her. I want to tell them to just stop. Offer to have her join them for lunch or walking or taking a day trip, but leave the pressure at home. They think they know what’s good for her.

    My mother is particularly bad at this. I don’t even know how to address it. My mom’s a fixer, and wants things to be better, but often has a horrible delivery.

    Do you have any ideas on how to talk to my mom? Or my aunt about the people trying to pressure her?

    Also, fantastic picture! Thanks for posting this.

    • First of all ..thank you for reading N J…secondly, I can attest to the ‘therapeutic’ attributes I attained by joining in the Sandbox Challenge back in 2015.. I’m being honest when I say it changed my life……..

      As for your mom and Aunt. It’s hard for anyone who hasn’t lost a spouse to understand the depths of pain and grief…and the bottom line is there is no one size fits all journey. I can’t speak for your aunt. But I do know what it’s like to be walking that fine line of wanting to live, yet pulling back.
      My suggestion to your mom…..call and invite her to coffee…window shop in town on a nice day. Go to lunch and keep the conversation light, Unless your aunt wants to talk about her husband, and if she does….Listen. Let her talk about him…let her say his name. No one can ‘fix’ us or the fact that we are widows, so that need has to stop. ……but here’s an idea. It’s something that means so much to me, even now at day 512 since Jim died. I’m blessed with Earth Angels in my life. They’re the ones that just seem to know when I need a pick me up. Those pick me ups arrive in the form of a card or small token in my mailbox…totally unexpected but so appreciated….even an unexpected phone call or text just letting me know I’m being thought of. These little things Blessings N J.

      I do hope as time continues to go by, your Aunt finds some comfort and peace ❤🙏

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