Do I Really Need To Dispose Parts Of Myself?!?!

Alrighty…it’s that time again. Time for the gloves and shovel to come out and get some digging going on over at The Sandbox Writing Challenge. This weeks prompt asks us the following..

If you could, what parts of yourself would you throw out?

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I’m trying to remember off the top of my head what my response to this prompt was my first go round in the Sandbox. I kinda have an idea, but I’m not going back to look, that was then, this is Now.

I’ve been working on this thing we call Self-Love for quite some time now. I’m thinking, if I’m going to be fair to myself and not sabotage the self love part of my journey, I need to say none…………but, if I’m going to dig, the part I’d like to dispose of at this point in my life is the feeling sorry for myself part. I really dislike when that part of me decides to rear her little head. While traversing this journey of widowhood, it’s very easy to fall into that pity party trap……..and while some of it is expected, let’s face it, losing the man you love does give a person some leeway for that kind of party, and in some ways it’s expected…yet I tend to feel guilty when it happens to me. I have so much to be thankful and grateful for….I’m truly Blessed to have been gifted Jims Love and to Love him in return. Which leads me to share this post from yesterday……………..

This pic popped up in my memories this morning…gotta love FB’s On This Day Feature (I DO!)

This was taken 4 years ago….Love Love Love this pic of us. Today marks 82 weeks since you were called Home. I’ve grown so much since then babe. Don’t think you’d recognize this Linda I’ve become, in fact still becoming. Your death has kicked my ass in so many ways…but not just negatively, there have been some positives that have come out of this unwanted journey of mine. I’m far enough along now that I can say losing you has opened my ‘eyes’ and my heart to what’s really important to me. Losing you has helped me to re-evaluate the who, what, where, and how in my life. Your Love, is a gift that keeps on giving, and because of that gift, I’m finding that more days then not, I’m living my life my way, I’m not just surviving anymore. And that is my take on this day, 574 since you’ve been gone. I Love You Jim

#saytheirname

………..So while I’d like to ‘throw out’ that part of me, as I’m growing stronger, that part of me is shrinking……I prefer shrinking to throwing out! I’m gonna drink to that!!! 😄✌️

Weathering The Storm’s Of My Life

This week, over in The Sandbox (Writing Challenge) we’re going to get a little serious again. We all go through tough times in our lives. Some more so than others. Put your thinking caps on and sort through your experiences, then tell us…

What is one of the worst emotional storms you’ve

weathered in your life?

As always, remember to include a link to this post on YOUR blog post. Or if your response isn’t overly long, feel free to leave it in the comment section below. If you would like to play with us and see the previous prompts, they’re listed in the menu at the top of the blog in The Sandbox Writing Challenge. But please feel free to just jump in wherever we are at the moment! After all, the prompts are really for YOU to get to know YOURSELF. So man your lifeboat and take us on your journey…

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As I’m sure most people have, I’ve weathered my share of ‘storms’……as a young child, I was abused by a man sworn to protect the public, who was trusted and revered by many. As a teen, a physically abusive relationship would eventually send me into the arms of my first husband and an abusive (mentally & emotionally) first marriage. Through the prompts of my first Sandbox Writing Challenge, I came to accept the things I had endured, I forgave and made my peace, understanding that all those things were meant to be part of my journey……because all those things had to occur, in order for my journey to lead me to my Jim and the adventure that was our life.

The pain of those circumstances though, in no way could prepare me or compare to the pain of losing Jim. His death brought a pain and emptiness to my heart I’d never known before….His death also brought about major changes and more losses. I lost my best friend, my confidant, my partner, my everything. With his death, I lost a huge piece of my heart and my self….. Not only did death take Jim, death inadvertently took away the island home we loved, friendships were and are still being severed. Not only did I lose the love of my life, I lost the life I loved.

Yet…Today, week 81..567 days without My Jim…proves that time does not stand still.

With all that lost…as time has moved forward, so have I. New discoveries have and are being made. I actually discovered a part of myself I never knew existed. A stronger, more independent Linda is emerging out of the darkness of loss. With each passing day, I am growing and redefining who Linda is. New friendships are being forged…a new space is Finally feeling like home, ready for me to plant both my feet and grow new roots…..

My emotional storms have tested me from a very early age, and though I did not walk away from them totally unscathed, my emotional scars reminders of those ‘storms’….I Am A Survivor and A Thriver and I will continue to be so………Because to do anything less is just Not Acceptable.