My Answers Are Within

Another go-round of The Sandbox Writing Challenge is under way. This week’s prompt is…..

What message just for you

is hidden in this ancient writing?

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I’ve decided to read my message in the ancient ‘writings’ within the bark of my Old Wise One who watches over me.

What does he have to tell me?!?! A Lot it seems!!

My tree is telling me that though I am finally at a place that I am putting down some roots, I also have wings that need tending to as well.

My roots finally have fertile soil, a place to stretch out and grow deep. They’re giving me a place to rest. A place to Just Be.

All The While…….

My wings want to take me to far away places, physically And metaphorically. Physically, in a ‘perfect world’ I’d visit those place I’ve read about and visit in my dreams. And then I’d return home once more, to rest before the next great adventure. Unfortunately, in my Real World, it’s not really an option, though I am going to work on some sort of travel.

Metaphorically, it’s with my creativity that I want to fly. With my words, my art, music. I want to release it to the universe. I need to set myself free from the constraints of my own making and allow my creativity to flow.

I’m being reminded that every thought, every word, every choice I make is helping me to create the treasure that is my life. He reminds me that my life is an ever- changing journey, that nothing ever really stays the same……

And then He shared this….from some very wise unknown person….

“Life is sublime and devastating, but it doesn’t own you. It cannot break you. We come into and leave this world alone. If you know and accept and love you, that should be a comfort, not a terror. You always have a place in this universe. You always have you.

Life is art. Life is magic.”

And so are you.

Broken But Still Standing Tall 💚🌳

Summer Solstice was in full swing. Hot and steamy here in the south. With blinds drawn and my fan working on over-drive to keep me cool, I was seated at my desk, lost in thought and writing. When all of a sudden I heard something fall…..muffled by the closed windows and whir of the fan, it wasn’t loud at all. I got up to investigate…..imagine my surprise when I found this….

Not what I was expecting……

A huge sadness gripped my heart last night….this tree has been a huge part of my healing for 13 months….seeing him broken breaks my heart….my old one, my healer, my friend.

 

This morning, I was gifted this view …..

“In the blink of an eye, change occurs and wraps you in sadness. But, even within that change and sadness, there is beauty to behold.” ©lindafedroff_june22,2018

 

He stands tall and majestic Still 💚

 

Authentically Vulnerable

Another week, another go-round at The Sandbox . This weeks challenge is:

What makes you feel vulnerable?

As always, remember to include the link to this post on YOUR blog post. Or if your response isn’t overly long, feel free to leave it in the comment section below. And please feel free to interpret the prompt however you wish: memoirs, poems, pictures, etc.

If you would like to see the previous prompts, they’re listed in the menu at the top of the blog in The Sandbox Writing Challenge. But please feel free to just jump in wherever we are at the moment! After all, the prompts are really for YOU to get to know YOURSELF. (Posts from past prompts you wish to tackle will always be added to the current week’s challenge page.)

So if you don’t mind BEING vulnerable, what is IT or the THINGS that make you feel vulnerable?

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As I was sitting here at my desk writing this piece, I heard a noise. Something fell.

I looked out my front window, nothing. I then opened the curtains on my back sliders and well….my heart broke….I took this first picture this morning….

And here’s what the noise was 😢 now talk about feeling vulnerable…I was cutting the grass this morning…..thank goodness it didn’t decide to fall while I was under it!!!!

Ok…..so now back to my original post.

While Sharing anything I write Always brings with it a huge sense of vulnerability, it’s the sharing of my grief and pain, and inner darkness that really leaves me feeling open and raw and vulnerable……and yet, by honestly admitting my truths to myself and then sharing them, I set myself free. It’s always been my hope since I first started ‘writing’ my poetry, that my words would touch others in some way……later on, as I began my first expedition digging in the ‘Sandbox’, my hope was, and still is, that by being honest with myself, I could possibly heal that which was broken inside of me, and whilst I was healing and mending via finding my voice through my words..maybe, just maybe, my words could help someone else in some small way.

And if that isn’t enough to have me feeling open and vulnerable, just this morning I was asked to be an administrator/editor for the private FB writers group!!! And my recent poem was shared to the group. I got a belly full of dragonflies, I can tell you!! I’m humbled to be included and I look forward to the workshop. I know I’ll be going in full throttle, ready to open and expose and share what I have inside. What I have, deep inside, mixed in with my vulnerable side, is a survivor and a thriver….mix that trinity with a whole lot of courage and creativity and I just may come up with something good……so let’s bring it on 👊

Our Wedding Anniversary-Thank You For Loving Me ❤

Today I celebrate the memories and anniversaries we shared….

Today I also grieve the anniversaries that were not to be…

Today would have (is) our 14th wedding anniversary. Jim chose the date. Hell, I had come home from work about a month before and just after my divorce was final, and Jim asked if We could get married. He said he did not like introducing me as his ‘girlfriend’ that I was so much more then that. So, June 17th it was. The date is significant as it was his Grandfather Henry’s Birthday. We always celebrated Henry with his favorite 🍻

Happy Anniversary Husband. I Love You Always ❤ Thank You for Loving Me. Our life together was a roller coaster ride..a journey of twists and turns…an adventure I’m grateful was ours.

“It’s clear to me now that I have been moving toward you and you toward me for a long time. Though neither of us was aware of the other before we met, there was a kind of mindless certainty bumming blithely along beneath our ignorance that ensured we would come together. Like two solitary birds flying the great prairies by celestial reckoning, all of these years and lifetimes we have been moving toward one another.” ~Robert James Waller, Bridges Of Madison County~

Today My Heart Hurts 💔

Today is 20 months…608 says….since I last saw him ❤

Time has not stopped. The sun still rises, and I greet each new sunrise with a grateful heart. The sun still sets, and with the setting of the sun, I end my day with a grateful heart. My inbetween, well each day is different. More good days, some just ok days. The bad days, still have them….and when I do, I allow myself to feel that grief and pain and sadness………..

Today my heart hurts. I miss him. Always I Miss Him. But, I’m so grateful for these memories and the opportunity to share them..which I will do till I draw my last breath..even though there are those folks out there who think we shouldn’t, as long as I’m breathing I will talk and share my memories of my Jim……

Life is different

Without you here.

Yet,

Although I can’t see you

I feel you are near….

The pain of losing you

Is one I can’t bare.

Yet,

I choose to celebrate us

And the love that we share.

©lindafedroff_november2016

(Thank you FB for the reminders…a morning we spent together (3 years ago today) at ‘our’ beach’ ❤)