A Determined Woman ๐Ÿ‘Š

 

A little break in the humidity had me hurrying up with this weeks dig over at The Sandbox Writing Challengeย This weeks prompt is as follows:

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Do you see something of yourself in this little child?ย If so, what?

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Isolation mixed with a Strong Will of Determination.

As my journey continues….even now at 21 months along, I feel both these things. The Isolation one feels when losing a spouse is an inevitable yet uniquely individual one. Whether I’m surrounded by those who care and love me, or just out shopping, walking, whatever/wherever, inevitably, out of the blue, a wave of Isolation can hit. Ironically, I have felt the most isolated and alone when I’m out, among people, not when I am home alone.

 

Case in point. I was invited and attended my first 4th of July gathering. I was excited to go and for the most part enjoyed myself. My daughters friends and families are wonderful people, and I was openly and warmly welcomed. Had a wonderful conversation with one of the guys moms, ate some great food and watched my grandchildren having a ball. A few hours in though, all of a sudden, I looked up, everyone was milling about with their significant others and I was sitting alone. At that moment, a tsunami of loneliness hit me….I quickly said my goodbyes and made a fast exit. I needed to get home to the safety and solitude of my space. Ironically, in the comfort and safety of my home, that isolated feeling of loneliness dissipated.

 

I have felt and lived a good part of this journey feeling a disconnectedness if you will, until I went to my first widows Meetup for coffee. For the first time since Jims death, I felt a sense of belonging . I felt connected and understood……..I felt safe to share all those feelings others could and would sympathize with, but not fully understand. I walked out of that first meet up with a smile, thinking these are ‘my people’. As time continues, I have no doubt that this feeling of isolation will lessen.

 

AND……I Am Determined. I’m Determined to continue to wake every morning with a Grateful heart, acknowledging my blessings for this life I’ve been given. I Am Determined to continue to grow and find my way. I Am Determined to step out of my comfort zones, picking up some of the scattered pieces of my life that are worth salvaging, while stepping around the ones that no longer serve me and Live. I Am Determined to live this life of mine in the richness of each moment. Jims death has and is continually teaching me that…

 

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With Determination and a Strong Will I GROW STRONGER

 

Photo courtesy ofย A Woman’s Heart and Soul

 

 

21 thoughts on “A Determined Woman ๐Ÿ‘Š

  1. Totally and 100% understand what you mean by feeling more alone out and about with people than when you are alone. I am like that, too. When I am out, I always notice couples and watch their interactions, for some reason….it’s a curiosity I have always had. I think mine came from trying to learn patterns or mannerisms or successful partners…but it does make me lonely.
    Great post!

  2. Oh dear Linda, even now 6 years later, I still experience the same sort of feelings, I’ll enjoying myself, then I look around at smiling couples, and then I feel the empty space beside, I don’t think that “little space” beside me ever leaves, even when I had a partner for a while, which a nice time for me, I still felt that “little space” beside me. xxx

    • Love you back โค you my beautiful dragonfly soul sister, in no uncertain terms, are an Amazing Wonder Woman. With all you’ve been through, your light shines bright…you are my hero โคโคโคโค๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ‘Š๐Ÿ‘Š

  3. Pingback: The Sandbox Writing Challenge 2018 โ€” Exercise 25 | Impromptu Promptlings

  4. And think of all the feelings you had to get through to be comfortable with just yourself and your silence. It’s been quite the learning experience for you! โค๐Ÿ‘

  5. Can relate so much to loneliness while out. You are strong and inspiring. I have not lost a spouse, but my mom did and I felt helpless to help her. The pain was wretched, and it beat us all down, but her most of all. It’s been five years. I like how you framed your thoughts for this prompt. Thank you for sharing your journey. โ™ฅ. Niki

    • Sending healing love and light to your mom and to you as well! The pain and grief of losing ones spouse and this road we have to travel is not an easy one. I hope at this juncture of her journey she’s finding some semblance of peace ๐Ÿ™โค

  6. Love the quote Linda. Still haven’t started the art, my excuse is ‘messing around ‘ with my blog & it is looking quite messy with duplicated posts etc. Determined to work it out, all good fun! ๐ŸŒž

  7. I SO get the feeling lonely in a crowd, and I also feel safety in my own space, at home, often alone. I really like how you made a mantra out of your determination. You’re an inspiration and I love the ‘I am a warrior” way! HUGS!!!!!!!!!

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