I had this tucked away in my DayOne Journal. I love that it has the feature of daily reminders of past journal entries….this is one from 4 years ago. I wish I could take credit for writing it….but it’s worthy of a share.
“I do not want to fill my void.
I want my void wide open.
Open to the elements of life.
I want to feel it empty, deep and hollow.
I want to simmer in its pain
and rejoice in its ecstasy.
I want my void to be clean
I will not fill it with
suggestions and masks
such as addictions.
I shall fill it with that
which makes me whole.
Music, poetry, giving,
sharing, friendship, dance,
love, joy, literature, words,
meaning, and nutrients.
A void is simply an
acute awareness of oneself.
An inner intuition of feeling.
A depth. A meaning.
A true presence to yourself.
That VOID is right where it belongs.
Inside of ME.”
Photo courtesy of 🤷🏻♀️
I will not attempt to mend my cracks, but instead let them shine as battle wounds. They are my beauty marks of life, and together with my cracks I (we) will take all my (our) learned knowledge and proceed.
I am a beautiful mosaic of the cracks that tell my story…..
My story…proof that life can be scary and bizarre, yet wonderful. Heartbreaking yet amazing.
My story…is far from finished, and it won’t be till I’m in the ground ( in my case, my ashes scattered to the wind). New passions. New adventures. New people. New purpose. Possibilities arise with each new day.
My story…the next new chapter of my life is being written.
Found this tucked away in my journal from 2015….it deserves to see the light again.
THINKING OUT LOUD
There is a place where my soul feels at rest. Where my heart beats in a gentle rhythm and my feet are steady.
There is a time when I feel alive from my head to my toes. When I know I’m living my purpose. When I am my most authentic self.
There is a place where my hips sway to a pulse known only to me. Where my mind wanders in and out with the waves. Where my eyes shine with the sun.
There is a time when I am grounded and simple. When I am full. When I am easy. When everything just works.
There is a place without struggle. Without fear. Without worry. Without barriers. Where I can feel. A place where I can see.
There is a time when there is only love, and light, and happiness. Where there is song, and dance, and celebration, of living.
There is a place that sparks a change. That grows the will of ten thousand men and the strength of a million. There is a place that inspires a new existence.
There is a time that is right. Opportunities are abundant. Thanks are offered. Praise given freely. When I just know. When I just, do.
There is a place. There is a time.
This is that place. That time is now.
For me, accepting ‘what is’ at this moment in my Now, was (is) when my True Growth began. Coming from a place of Gratitude, I am Grateful for how far I have come in my journey, for the Gifts and Blessings in my life, for my Memories. With a Grateful Heart, I continue to grow from a place deep within, where my deeply cultivated roots can continue to flourish and blossom into something more.
Trust had to occur in order for Transformation to happen. While consciously disentangling myself from my pre-conceived ideas of what my life is (was) supposed to look like, I put my Trust and opened my Heart to my Creator, and continue to do so, Trusting Him and my journey.
For me, Acceptance has brought its own form of Contentment. With a Grateful Heart, I will continue to ‘turn over’ tend’ and ‘fertilize’ the Garden of My Soul, with Love in my Heart…………
a new haircut and color thrown in for good measure keeps my transformation fresh 😊 (I’m channeling my inner JOY, from the Pixar movie Inside Out 😆)
Joy courtesy of doublemesh
This morning my world is a little less brighter…my Beautiful Claudia was called home yesterday.
She always called me her little ray of sunshine, but truth be told, the little sassy package that was Claudia was the true light. She lit up the lives of everyone she came in contact with, and those of us who had the privilege to know her, love her and be loved by her, well she had a way of lighting up our worlds in so many ways. She, along with her husband Harvey, helped me through the darkest days of my life, and in those dark times, her light shone brightly and kept my flame from burning out. With my heart filled with Love and Gratitude, I thank God for bringing you into my life, C.
While selfishly I can’t image this earth without you, I’m smiling through the tears thinking of your reunion with your boys ❤️
Rest Well My Little Ray Of Sunshine 💛☀️💛☀️ I Love You
You own a huge piece of my heart ❤️