Saying Goodbye

Those who have been following me for some time know that I haven’t had a relationship with my father (his doing, not mine) since summer of 2006. With his wife’s passing in May of ’18, it was my hope, that we would be able to find our way back to each other. Finding out he had dementia, that was never to be…..and from that news these words came to be………

I said goodbye to you years ago

and I made my peace.

Though I would never understand

or comprehend

A fathers love so incomplete.

I accepted it for what it was

moving forward with my life.

Thoughts of you every now and then

Still and would cut like a knife.

There was Always

Always a hope

Of some sort of reconciliation.

That thought was dashed

in one phone call

It’s message a revelation.

Though physically you are here

you are ‘gone’ from this life

No longer do you remember

You’ve been released of the strife

What you do remember

I will never know

So one more time I’ll say goodbye

and allow my tears to flow.

I’ll cry for unanswered questions

and the dad I needed/wanted you to be

Now lost to dementia

You’re like a lost boat, adrift at sea……

I’ll pray for your comfort

and for you to be set free

To be a better version

Of the man you used to be.

©️lindafedroff_may2018

My dad passed away July 12, one day after his 81st birthday. I shed my tears, and have dealt with the anger I felt at being cut out of his life. At feeling like I wasn’t good enough……I pray that somewhere inside, he knew his children loved him and wanted to be a part of his life. I pray he made his peace with God before he passed. I pray you are at peace. Love you Daddy ❤️

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Crowder On The Creek

As my journey continues to move forward within my church, I’m meeting amazing people who I know without a shadow of a doubt, is God’s intention. These 2 gals were introduced to me and the next day I was invited to join them to Friday’s nights concert being held at our church. I’ve heard Crowder on the radio, seen a few of his videos, but little did I know that not only would I be meeting him, but his concert was gonna Rock the roof off!!

Cutie wanna be photobomber 😄

Now the music!!

Thinking Of Him ❤️

 

32 months ago…..that’s 973.98 days since Jim’s been gone. Some days it feels like yesterday, others a lifetime. My life continues to move forward as I grow, transform and evolve. While I’m not the same person I was, one thing will never change, and that’s my Love for him. 

I. Love. You Husband

Life is different
Without you here.
Yet,
Although I can’t see you
I feel you are near….

The pain of losing you
Is one I can’t bare.
Yet,
I choose to celebrate us
And the love that we share.
©lindafedroff

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Road Trip…Charleston’s Angel Oak Tree 🌳

Back from a road trip..my first ‘girlfriend’s’ hit the road trip, reconnected with  a dear friend I haven’t seen in 13 years…our destination, Charleston, to visit the Angel Oak Tree. We had our own reasons for the visit…even with the changes the last 13 years have had on our own personal lives, we still fit 😊

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Jersey Girls and Oak Trees 💚

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Many people are struggling because they have not used what God has given them. God gives you an acorn; you invest it and it will become a tree! Stop praying for trees while acorns are lying all over the ground. God answered your prayer for the tree when He sent you the acorn. Your creative ideas are acorns from which mighty trees emerge. Your talent is given to you to be multiplied. ~TB~