Those who have been following me for some time know that I haven’t had a relationship with my father (his doing, not mine) since summer of 2006. With his wife’s passing in May of ’18, it was my hope, that we would be able to find our way back to each other. Finding out he had dementia, that was never to be…..and from that news these words came to be………
I said goodbye to you years ago
and I made my peace.
Though I would never understand
A fathers love so incomplete.
I accepted it for what it was
moving forward with my life.
Thoughts of you every now and then
Still and would cut like a knife.
There was Always
Always a hope
Of some sort of reconciliation.
That thought was dashed
in one phone call
It’s message a revelation.
Though physically you are here
you are ‘gone’ from this life
No longer do you remember
You’ve been released of the strife
What you do remember
I will never know
So one more time I’ll say goodbye
and allow my tears to flow.
I’ll cry for unanswered questions
and the dad I needed/wanted you to be
Now lost to dementia
You’re like a lost boat, adrift at sea……
I’ll pray for your comfort
and for you to be set free
To be a better version
Of the man you used to be.
My dad passed away July 12, one day after his 81st birthday. I shed my tears, and have dealt with the anger I felt at being cut out of his life. At feeling like I wasn’t good enough……I pray that somewhere inside, he knew his children loved him and wanted to be a part of his life. I pray he made his peace with God before he passed. I pray you are at peace. Love you Daddy ❤️