Open Heart…Open Eyes

One needs to open up not

Just their eyes.

But also their hearts to ‘see’..

The signs that are all around us

And the comfort they can bring……

I see with my eyes

A leaf, folded over,

encased in early frost.

My heart ‘sees’ an Angel Wing,

Reminding me your not lost….

My eyes see autumn colored branches

reaching for the morning sunlight,

drying from yesterday’s snow.

My heart ‘sees’ a frosty heart

Amidst the ‘mourning’ glow.

©lindafedroff_december10,2017

Cardinal Meme

Advertisements

I’m An Overcomer!!

Yesssssssss…I Am!

You ever come across a song that just resonates with you?!?! Well that happened a few days ago. I was playing around with the search button trying to find a radio station to listen to. It stopped, and this song came on…OVERCOMER. Turns out the radio station was KLOVE and the singer was MANDISA (of American Idol fame). She actually was a fav of mine back then. Not a listener of gospel music per se, I hadn’t heard much of her over the years……..ANYWAY, This song! It’s in my head….got home and YOUTUBE it! Holy Moly!

Downloaded it to my ITunes….it’s put a skip to my step…literally. Got some looks while dance/walking yesterday from my neighbors..lol

It also got me thinking…a lot. We’re all dealing with ‘stuff’. When I’m in the midst of my pain and darkness, it’s easy to forget that there are others out there struggling right along with me, through their own grief and pain. Whether it’s loss, addiction, sickness….we all have our crosses to bear, our walks to walk, our ‘stuff’ to OVERCOME. I’m not making light of my journey or anyone else’s. More to the point, I’m humbled and inspired by the strength of others who overcame their own obstacles and journeys. (That would be YOU).

Today is day 418 since my life changed and a new journey was laid out before me. In that time, though I’ve privately bottomed out with my grief, I’ve also kept going. And I will continue to do so. And when I hit a snag, I’ll work my way through it, cause I know I’m not alone.

Yes…my life has changed. I see things through a widow’s eyes. I feel things with a widow’s heart. But I was and still am loved. And I have a whole lotta living to do!!

Misty Morning

It’s been a while since I’ve sat my rear-end down to even attempt to write. I took a walk with a new friend yesterday. We walked, talked and got to know each other a bit better. I shared some of my story and background with her, including my blog and the finding of my voice, and the loss of it again. Cause that’s what I feel like..I’ve lost it and it’s time to find it again.

I hope our talk helped her as much as it did me. I went to sleep last night, setting the intention in my head to schedule time to ‘write’ or at least think about writing…………I’m ready to jump back in.

So this morning, I awoke, looked outside and was greeted with this….

Mother Nature inspired and provided…..

Morning arrives,

riding in on the wake

of the cold

of the previous evening.

Sunlight is shrouded.

We are blanketed beneath

and all around,

by the veil of chill and fog.

Oak tree standing tall.

A sentinel keeping watch.

Silhouetted

against the misty background.

There is an air of mystery all around.

A stillness,

that is broken only by an unseen scampering

across fallen dead leaves

And

The occasional caw of a blackbird,

hidden in the mist.

©lindafedroff_december4,2017

Whispers Of My Soul

I walk the quiet trails

To ‘get lost’ with my thoughts.

I have solitary conversations

With my inner self, Jim,

My grandparents, and Our Creator.

I bare my innermost thoughts

Fears and dreams.

I cry.

A salty trail on my cheek

Evidence of my silent tears.

I look up.

Through the leaves,

The dappled light dances.

In the quietness

I listen.

I hear/feel the whispering

Of the breeze on my skin.

An inner warmth spreads within

As I listen to the

Whispers of my soul.

©lindafedroff_october24,2017

My Journey Continues……

Well, I’m now one week into my second year without Jim.

As I reflect back on my year of firsts journey, I see it as a year of drastic change and a year of survival. It was a year of unexpected loss, extreme grief and pain. It was a year of discovering an inner strength and intuition I could draw on to help guide me along a road I wasn’t prepared for.

It was a year of loss…so much loss. Not only did I lose my husband..but many friendships fell away just as the days did.

I learned, in that first year, how to let go…

Last year’s road was also one of humility, Blessings and Hope. Of Love and Support. From those who knew me(us) and those who didn’t. Earth Angels abound 🙏

It was a year that my love continued to grow for Jim. True love doesn’t die just because the recipient of that love is no longer physically here. Our love transcends time and always will…….

As I enter my year of ‘twos’, I somehow feel a bit lighter.

Free-er even. It’s as if that year of firsts was a chain, and as I lived and grieved through each ‘first’, a link of that chain broke away. I miss my husband. I miss him awful. But I ‘hear’ him telling me, “it’s time Linda, it’s your time. Shine. I’m with you and I always will be.”……

I know it’s time to start living again. Not just exist, but live. The threads that bind us together have not lost their weave……They’ve just loosened a little……enough for me to move forward without holding on to a past that can’t be lived again….

With all that said. The pain is still there. Tears still fall. And ya know what? That’s Okay. “It okay to just be okay” … has become a little mantra of mine.

(The quote [a Danish Proverb] below is one I shared a few years ago. It was in reference to my grandmothers birthday on October 19….she’s been warching over me for a long time now ❤🍁)