Creative Therapy 🎨 📝

A few weeks, I came across an ad for a paint class one of the local businesses in town is going to be hosting. Fluid Painting it was called. Intrigued, I headed on over to YouTube to see what I could discover about this medium. I quickly got hooked, and having much of what I needed to dabble on my own, this was my first attempt.

I decided to make another for my daughter for her birthday…and this was the end result for that one ….. I’ve decided to sign up and take the class. I’m finding this a wonderful outlet for my #arttherapy and want to learn all I can ‘live’. Im excited to be stepping out of my comfort zone and learning something new….

In the meantime….I’m also spending more time digging through the gray matter of my mind, putting more thoughts to paper as I ready myself for the writers workshop I’ll be attending in a few weeks………as I was looking through my FB memories this morning, I came across a quote I shared from a book I was reading 5 years ago…..funny that at that time, I was a few weeks shy of starting the first Sandbox Writing Challenge……I’ve come a long way since then…and I most definitely have come to love the wonder of Myself and who I’m growing to be.

#writingheals

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A Determined Woman 👊

 

A little break in the humidity had me hurrying up with this weeks dig over at The Sandbox Writing Challenge This weeks prompt is as follows:

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Do you see something of yourself in this little child? If so, what?

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Isolation mixed with a Strong Will of Determination.

As my journey continues….even now at 21 months along, I feel both these things. The Isolation one feels when losing a spouse is an inevitable yet uniquely individual one. Whether I’m surrounded by those who care and love me, or just out shopping, walking, whatever/wherever, inevitably, out of the blue, a wave of Isolation can hit. Ironically, I have felt the most isolated and alone when I’m out, among people, not when I am home alone.

 

Case in point. I was invited and attended my first 4th of July gathering. I was excited to go and for the most part enjoyed myself. My daughters friends and families are wonderful people, and I was openly and warmly welcomed. Had a wonderful conversation with one of the guys moms, ate some great food and watched my grandchildren having a ball. A few hours in though, all of a sudden, I looked up, everyone was milling about with their significant others and I was sitting alone. At that moment, a tsunami of loneliness hit me….I quickly said my goodbyes and made a fast exit. I needed to get home to the safety and solitude of my space. Ironically, in the comfort and safety of my home, that isolated feeling of loneliness dissipated.

 

I have felt and lived a good part of this journey feeling a disconnectedness if you will, until I went to my first widows Meetup for coffee. For the first time since Jims death, I felt a sense of belonging . I felt connected and understood……..I felt safe to share all those feelings others could and would sympathize with, but not fully understand. I walked out of that first meet up with a smile, thinking these are ‘my people’. As time continues, I have no doubt that this feeling of isolation will lessen.

 

AND……I Am Determined. I’m Determined to continue to wake every morning with a Grateful heart, acknowledging my blessings for this life I’ve been given. I Am Determined to continue to grow and find my way. I Am Determined to step out of my comfort zones, picking up some of the scattered pieces of my life that are worth salvaging, while stepping around the ones that no longer serve me and Live. I Am Determined to live this life of mine in the richness of each moment. Jims death has and is continually teaching me that…

 

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With Determination and a Strong Will I GROW STRONGER

 

Photo courtesy of A Woman’s Heart and Soul

 

 

My Answers Are Within

Another go-round of The Sandbox Writing Challenge is under way. This week’s prompt is…..

What message just for you

is hidden in this ancient writing?

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I’ve decided to read my message in the ancient ‘writings’ within the bark of my Old Wise One who watches over me.

What does he have to tell me?!?! A Lot it seems!!

My tree is telling me that though I am finally at a place that I am putting down some roots, I also have wings that need tending to as well.

My roots finally have fertile soil, a place to stretch out and grow deep. They’re giving me a place to rest. A place to Just Be.

All The While…….

My wings want to take me to far away places, physically And metaphorically. Physically, in a ‘perfect world’ I’d visit those place I’ve read about and visit in my dreams. And then I’d return home once more, to rest before the next great adventure. Unfortunately, in my Real World, it’s not really an option, though I am going to work on some sort of travel.

Metaphorically, it’s with my creativity that I want to fly. With my words, my art, music. I want to release it to the universe. I need to set myself free from the constraints of my own making and allow my creativity to flow.

I’m being reminded that every thought, every word, every choice I make is helping me to create the treasure that is my life. He reminds me that my life is an ever- changing journey, that nothing ever really stays the same……

And then He shared this….from some very wise unknown person….

“Life is sublime and devastating, but it doesn’t own you. It cannot break you. We come into and leave this world alone. If you know and accept and love you, that should be a comfort, not a terror. You always have a place in this universe. You always have you.

Life is art. Life is magic.”

And so are you.

Broken But Still Standing Tall 💚🌳

Summer Solstice was in full swing. Hot and steamy here in the south. With blinds drawn and my fan working on over-drive to keep me cool, I was seated at my desk, lost in thought and writing. When all of a sudden I heard something fall…..muffled by the closed windows and whir of the fan, it wasn’t loud at all. I got up to investigate…..imagine my surprise when I found this….

Not what I was expecting……

A huge sadness gripped my heart last night….this tree has been a huge part of my healing for 13 months….seeing him broken breaks my heart….my old one, my healer, my friend.

 

This morning, I was gifted this view …..

“In the blink of an eye, change occurs and wraps you in sadness. But, even within that change and sadness, there is beauty to behold.” ©lindafedroff_june22,2018

 

He stands tall and majestic Still 💚

 

Authentically Vulnerable

Another week, another go-round at The Sandbox . This weeks challenge is:

What makes you feel vulnerable?

As always, remember to include the link to this post on YOUR blog post. Or if your response isn’t overly long, feel free to leave it in the comment section below. And please feel free to interpret the prompt however you wish: memoirs, poems, pictures, etc.

If you would like to see the previous prompts, they’re listed in the menu at the top of the blog in The Sandbox Writing Challenge. But please feel free to just jump in wherever we are at the moment! After all, the prompts are really for YOU to get to know YOURSELF. (Posts from past prompts you wish to tackle will always be added to the current week’s challenge page.)

So if you don’t mind BEING vulnerable, what is IT or the THINGS that make you feel vulnerable?

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As I was sitting here at my desk writing this piece, I heard a noise. Something fell.

I looked out my front window, nothing. I then opened the curtains on my back sliders and well….my heart broke….I took this first picture this morning….

And here’s what the noise was 😢 now talk about feeling vulnerable…I was cutting the grass this morning…..thank goodness it didn’t decide to fall while I was under it!!!!

Ok…..so now back to my original post.

While Sharing anything I write Always brings with it a huge sense of vulnerability, it’s the sharing of my grief and pain, and inner darkness that really leaves me feeling open and raw and vulnerable……and yet, by honestly admitting my truths to myself and then sharing them, I set myself free. It’s always been my hope since I first started ‘writing’ my poetry, that my words would touch others in some way……later on, as I began my first expedition digging in the ‘Sandbox’, my hope was, and still is, that by being honest with myself, I could possibly heal that which was broken inside of me, and whilst I was healing and mending via finding my voice through my words..maybe, just maybe, my words could help someone else in some small way.

And if that isn’t enough to have me feeling open and vulnerable, just this morning I was asked to be an administrator/editor for the private FB writers group!!! And my recent poem was shared to the group. I got a belly full of dragonflies, I can tell you!! I’m humbled to be included and I look forward to the workshop. I know I’ll be going in full throttle, ready to open and expose and share what I have inside. What I have, deep inside, mixed in with my vulnerable side, is a survivor and a thriver….mix that trinity with a whole lot of courage and creativity and I just may come up with something good……so let’s bring it on 👊