Sounds Of Silence

Another week, and another go-round at The Sandbox Writing Challenge

Week 10’s challenge is to answer the question:


As I sit here pondering that question, I’ve decided to pull up the definition of fascinate………this was meaning number one……….

1. to attract and hold attentively by a unique power, personal charm, unusual nature, or some other special quality; enthrall: a vivacity that fascinated the audience.

So, now I have the definition…..I’m still sitting here, with the window open, listening to the wind whipping through the trees….and still pondering as to what ‘enthralls’ me at this moment in my life (I’ve got a case of widow blues going on 😞) but then……..LIGHT BULB MOMENT 💡


I know, if I’m listening to sounds, how is that silence. For whatever reason I don’t consider nature to be noise. So for me it fits into my own personal definition of Silence. Be it the wind, rain, bird song, crashing waves, the peepers at night, I attribute all to my quiet time. Nature’s silence is soothing. It also makes me feel alive. It’s my elixir. My healer. So for me, what fascinates this gal right now, is the Sounds Of Silence.


Fanning My Widow’s Inner Flame 🔥

Welcome back to The Sandbox Writing Challenge-Exercise 7! This week’s challenge MAY be an easy one for you, but maybe NOT! We’ve already touched on what makes us unique, but now we’d like to know what it is about you or that you do that makes you stand out from those around you? It’s hard for some of us to give ourselves the kudos we truly deserve, so here’s your chance to do just that. (And we all LOVE you, so go for it with gusto!) Don’t hold back now!


Now tell us, please, what makes you…





Without looking back at my first go round with the SBWC..I believe it’s a pretty safe bet that part of my answer to this prompt was my bubbly personality and positive outlook on life were what made me shine..right down to the rose-colored glasses….


That was then….This is now.


This time things are different. I’m different. My rose-colored glasses aren’t as rosy as they used to be, and though I still wear them, his death definitely has blurred how I look through those glasses now.


One of the reasons I feel I shone so brightly was Jim and the life we shared together. When he died, part of my spark, my inner light went Poof… and died with him. But, even when a fire is extinguished, some embers still remain. With the whisper of a breathe, a new spark can be ignited….that whisper is our continued Love, a Love that continues to live and burn in my heart.


As a Phoenix will arise from the ashes, Our Love and Hope is what pours forth from within me…..I feel the need, strongly, to fan that flame and keep the fire burning……..I feel deep within that this is part of my calling. I have this burning desire to help others find some hope while struggling to find their own foothold on this journey of loss we’re on…..from the ashes of pain, hope glows like embers and reignites my Spirit so I Can continue to SHINE….


So, while I will wear those rose colored glasses, I’ve given myself permission to harden’ just a bit…..while I accept this journey of mine, the passivity I’ve chosen to treat Jims death with needed to be addressed…. sooooooo this is me giving the finger to death and sporting my BadAss Widow Shirt….when I decide to Shine, I SHINE!!!




Sandbox Writing Challenge … Second Go Round

Lady Calen over at Impromptu Promptlings and I had been discussing how much our lives have changed since we finished the first Sandbox Writing Challenge. The first go round for me was a very positive and healing experience. The digging I did over the course of that year found me uncovering so much about myself. I was able to heal, let go, learn and grow from my ‘dig’. My life changed for the better because of that ‘therapy dig.’

Well, as we all know life comes with no guarantees and can change in the blink of an eye…and mine did just that on October 14, 2016 with the unexpected death of my Jim……his death has sent me on a journey and path I never expected to be on. Because of his death and my life changes, my blogging took a different turn, how could it not?! I want to find my voice again and get my creative juices flowing and see what I have inside of me to share………..So, Today is day 447 since he died, and I’ve decided I want to NOT revisit my original Sandbox, but to start a new dig and uncover the inner workings of who I’m becoming since that day in October………………LET THE DIGGING BEGIN!

So here we go! Here’s a “loosening up” exercise from Roberta Allen’s book The Playful Way To Knowing Yourself just to get your creative juices flowing. How do you see yourself? Has your perspective of yourself changed over the last year? Have you EVER come into a new understanding of yourself? If so, what precipitated it?

Now, make four lists that you feel describe you and some of the preferences in your life:

If you were asked to choose seven words to describe yourself, what would they be?

1: Widow

2: Resilient

3: Dreamer

4: Believer

5: Spiritual

6: Strong

7: Accepting

If you were asked to choose seven objects that have meaning for you, what objects would you choose?

1: Jims Keepsake Urn

2: Jims wedding band

3: A teddy bear made from Jims shirts

4: My grandfathers bible

5: My grandfathers wedding band

6: Photos

7: Dragonfly charms

If you were asked to choose seven colors that have meaning for you, what colors would you choose?

1: Black

2: White

3: Green

4: Yellow

5: Red

6: Purple

7: Browns

If you were asked to choose seven places that have meaning for you, what places would you choose?

1: Under my tree

2: My property

3: My home

4: The beach

5: Sitting at my desk

6: In the woods

7: Sitting on my porch


Open Heart…Open Eyes

One needs to open up not

Just their eyes.

But also their hearts to ‘see’..

The signs that are all around us

And the comfort they can bring……

I see with my eyes

A leaf, folded over,

encased in early frost.

My heart ‘sees’ an Angel Wing,

Reminding me your not lost….

My eyes see autumn colored branches

reaching for the morning sunlight,

drying from yesterday’s snow.

My heart ‘sees’ a frosty heart

Amidst the ‘mourning’ glow.


Cardinal Meme


I’m An Overcomer!!

Yesssssssss…I Am!

You ever come across a song that just resonates with you?!?! Well that happened a few days ago. I was playing around with the search button trying to find a radio station to listen to. It stopped, and this song came on…OVERCOMER. Turns out the radio station was KLOVE and the singer was MANDISA (of American Idol fame). She actually was a fav of mine back then. Not a listener of gospel music per se, I hadn’t heard much of her over the years……..ANYWAY, This song! It’s in my head….got home and YOUTUBE it! Holy Moly!

Downloaded it to my ITunes….it’s put a skip to my step…literally. Got some looks while dance/walking yesterday from my

It also got me thinking…a lot. We’re all dealing with ‘stuff’. When I’m in the midst of my pain and darkness, it’s easy to forget that there are others out there struggling right along with me, through their own grief and pain. Whether it’s loss, addiction, sickness….we all have our crosses to bear, our walks to walk, our ‘stuff’ to OVERCOME. I’m not making light of my journey or anyone else’s. More to the point, I’m humbled and inspired by the strength of others who overcame their own obstacles and journeys. (That would be YOU).

Today is day 418 since my life changed and a new journey was laid out before me. In that time, though I’ve privately bottomed out with my grief, I’ve also kept going. And I will continue to do so. And when I hit a snag, I’ll work my way through it, cause I know I’m not alone.

Yes…my life has changed. I see things through a widow’s eyes. I feel things with a widow’s heart. But I was and still am loved. And I have a whole lotta living to do!!