My Journey Continues……

Well, I’m now one week into my second year without Jim.

As I reflect back on my year of firsts journey, I see it as a year of drastic change and a year of survival. It was a year of unexpected loss, extreme grief and pain. It was a year of discovering an inner strength and intuition I could draw on to help guide me along a road I wasn’t prepared for.

It was a year of loss…so much loss. Not only did I lose my husband..but many friendships fell away just as the days did.

I learned, in that first year, how to let go…

Last year’s road was also one of humility, Blessings and Hope. Of Love and Support. From those who knew me(us) and those who didn’t. Earth Angels abound 🙏

It was a year that my love continued to grow for Jim. True love doesn’t die just because the recipient of that love is no longer physically here. Our love transcends time and always will…….

As I enter my year of ‘twos’, I somehow feel a bit lighter.

Free-er even. It’s as if that year of firsts was a chain, and as I lived and grieved through each ‘first’, a link of that chain broke away. I miss my husband. I miss him awful. But I ‘hear’ him telling me, “it’s time Linda, it’s your time. Shine. I’m with you and I always will be.”……

I know it’s time to start living again. Not just exist, but live. The threads that bind us together have not lost their weave……They’ve just loosened a little……enough for me to move forward without holding on to a past that can’t be lived again….

With all that said. The pain is still there. Tears still fall. And ya know what? That’s Okay. “It okay to just be okay” … has become a little mantra of mine.

(The quote [a Danish Proverb] below is one I shared a few years ago. It was in reference to my grandmothers birthday on October 19….she’s been warching over me for a long time now ❤🍁)

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My Guardians 💚🌳

It’s a BEAUTIFUL AUTUMN DAY here in North Carolina. I’m embracing the beauty of this day and am feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude to my Jim. It’s because of him and his continued love and ‘gifts’ that I can live this life and soak it all in……..these amazing trees, I see them as my ‘guardians’. 💚🌳 The healing power of trees..it’s real!

I look up

I’m surrounded

By the old ones

Peace and comfort

Is their gift to me

I open my heart

I open my soul

I hear their whispers

My story unfolds

Beneath their branches

My arms encircle

I feel their ‘life’ flowing

I find hope

And I find

A calming sanctuary

©lindafedroff_october18,2017

For Crow’s Sake…..

Sitting all alone

On my back porch one day

You stopped by for a visit

And you didn’t fly away…

You hung around with me that day

Your feathers iridescent in the sun

I pondered your meaning

And what was to become………..

©lindafedroff_october2017

Since I’ve moved here, I’ve been visited, almost daily by a ‘murder’ of crows….but on Friday (which was the 51st week since Jim died) I hade one lone visitor……

I’m not sure if this was a youngster who was visiting. But (s)he made him/her self right at home. Spent the afternoon under my bird feeder, foraging away, and then (s)he snuggled down….I got to thinking that maybe (s)he was hurt.

As twilight was approaching, I started to worry more so as (s)he was showing no signs of leaving….I was sitting on my back steps, sipping my wine, clicking my tongue and ‘talking’ softly to this Crow when out of the brush a Cardinal landed on top of the bird feeder…so now I’m sitting there, with the last of sunlight sinking low, with these beautiful feathered beings gifting me with their presence…..I couldn’t help but smile and Believe these were signs for me on what was day 357 since Jim died.

I did finally get up to approach the Crow. If it was really hurt and couldn’t fly, I couldn’t leave it there knowing there are foxes and cats around that would have gladly made him a meal….he hopped away a bit, seeming to have some struggle trying to get lift off…but Finally was able to take flight and make it to the top of a nearby tree……..as of now, I’ve not had another visit…..but

This was an amazing Spiritual encounter. A gift.

Secrets of Crow Meaning ~

Crow is the keeper of the Sacred Law, the ancient magic and divination.

Crow is appearing for you to beckon you to begin to use your “second sight”… the silent sight, your 6th sense … the gift of clairvoyance in particular, which is the gift to see into the spirit realms.

Nothing escapes the keen sight of the Crow, both in the physical and metaphysical realms.

As the custodian of ancient magical laws and wisdom, when the Crow calls to us we have an instant flash of our authentic self, the Crow sees our soul~self, and her call echoes deep within the body as we try to remember the language that she speaks.

As we enter the new era, The Crow is bringing a message today of  “the passing” of the old, and the birth of something new!  This is a significant totem energy from the crow.

When Crow brings a message from a deceased loved one it is a profound confirmation and symbolism of rebirth for your loved one on the other side. the passing of the old and the awakening of the new.

This Blessing from the Crow comes to all that should choose to accept it.

Cardinal Symbolism. . .  The beautiful red Cardinal bird is symbolic of power, wealth, and enthusiasm. Cardinal has come to you offering you blessings in a sacred song, the song of the Cardinal is. . . feel the flow of nature and the natural rhythms of the planet and your spirit. . . fall into flow with yourself. . .  trust your power, this is your gift from above . . . emanate your true essence. . . this is the core of your power. . . fall in love with your life and naturally your spirit will shine.

Happy Autumnal Equinox 🍂🍁

My Favorite Season has, well almost, officially arrived..Ok…so ‘officially’ autumn doesn’t start 4:02 pm EDT … semantics 😄

I was up way before the sun……determined to welcome autumn in my own special way. Coffee and notebook in hand, I hung with my tree. 🍁

As the birds awakened and the sky was slowly getting lighter, I couldn’t help but think of all the sunrises Jim and I were Blessed to witness together…and though he’s physically not here, I feel his presence ❤

With my arms wide open

I welcome the dawn

On the first

Of this

Autumn morn..

The sky lightens

The birds they sing

Welcoming the Equinox

And the changes it brings…

The trees dance on the breeze

As the sun begins to rise

Sky gets brighter

Morning has broken

Autumn arrives…….

©lindafedroff_sept2017

The Journey….By David Whyte

I’ve never been a huge reader of poetry, or writer of poetry until I became a member of the WP community.  As my time here as moved forward, my horizons have been broadened. I’ve come to appreciate the written word so much more then in my youth. The fact that I discovered and unearthed a want and need to write, well lets just say it was a very cool find.

 I came across the Poet David Whyte, in my email inbox of all places, as an Amazon recommendation. While sipping my coffee yesterday, I decided to check David out. I listened to him reading and sharing some of his poetry on YOUTUBE. Well…looks as though there are some more books to be bought in my future.

THE JOURNEY struck a cord with me. I’ve ‘sticky-noted’ it to my pc (Thnx C for turning me on to the sticky note thingy on this laptop!!) Anyway, I felt the need to share..both in written form and in David’s voice.

 

THE JOURNEY
Above the mountains
the geese turn into
the light again
Painting their
black silhouettes
on an open sky.
Sometimes everything
has to be
inscribed across
the heavens
so you can find
the one line
already written
inside you.
Sometimes it takes
a great sky
to find that
first, bright
and indescribable
wedge of freedom
in your own heart.
Sometimes with
the bones of the black
sticks left when the fire
has gone out
someone has written
something new
in the ashes of your life.
You are not leaving.
Even as the light fades quickly now,
you are arriving.

by David Whyte.

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