Seasons Change…Your Love Remains

My time on the island is drawing to a close, and while I’ve sat with friends and reminisced, soul strolled the beach and remembered the wonderful life Jim and I shared, I’m looking forward to getting home. Yes, the grief still visits, but it has softened. I’m leaving here in peace. It’s a peace that has come with time, but it has also come with growth. God’s Love has grown me in ways I can’t even explain over the last year, which has made this visit all the more transforming.

“ There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance…”
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

(The natural rhythm of the seasons applies to our lives and knowing there is a natural rhythm, a “time to weep and a time to laugh,” gives us permission to let go of perfectionist expectations of our lives. It lightens our burdens by giving us hope for the future in the midst of trial and prepares us for times of struggle – until the day comes when there will be no more winter and no more tears. ~Sarah Phillips)

We can’t have just one season, one life of endless summers….on this chilly, windy, autumn October day, 4 years and 3 days since Jim died, I’m accepting and embracing my season and I’m going home.

Merciful God, We praise you because you know all things, see all things, and remember us. Thank you that we can depend on your presence with us in every season and situation, that each time has purpose and meaning. We are grateful that each season is orchestrated by you, even the harder ones. Help us to see your hand and guidance in our lives as we go through changes, the highs, and the lows. May we grow in trust and persevere in the valleys. How great you are, oh God, for being so intentional to care for us in every season. For even when things seem glum, your light continues to shine on us in mercy and grace.Amen.

❤️

4 years. A Widow.

Despite his physical absence, I love my Jim. He will always live on inside my heart.❤️

First, let me say, I Love October. Autumn is my favorite season. The colors. The smells. The crispness in the air. Pumpkin everything!!!Still warm temperatures. But then you have the other side of October.

It’s the anniversary of Jim’s death, his deathiversary has arrived for the fourth time. There’s no outrunning it. There’s nowhere to hide from it. My favorite season also transports me back to that day four years ago that I learned what it was to grieve, really grieve.

So much has happened in those four years, yet some days it feels like Jim died yesterday. It’s hard to believe that my life could go on without him, but somehow it has. Without him I had no idea how to exist. But bit by bit, I’m coming to a place where I’m realigning and I’m moving forward. I’m throwing away all preconceived ideas of what I thought my life should be looking like four years later.

Instead, I’m trusting that God has each day of my life perfectly planned out for me to the day that I depart from this life.Today, I’m turning my grief to blessings by remembering that God is guiding my steps.

“The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

Father, Thank You that there is healing in Your presence. Fill me fresh with Your Spirit and renew my heart and mind in Your truth. I release my sorrow to You, and I ask You to fill every void in my heart with Your peace and love.Thank You for my Jim’s life on this earth and the time I had with him. I know I will see him again in Your timing. I choose to give You honor and praise always. Thank You Father for healing my heart. In Jesus’s name I pray, Amen

Beach Soul Stroll 👣

My first beach soul stroll this year. So many memories. So many miles of soul strolling behind me…I’m grateful to be soul strolling forward….Cloudy, but beautiful nonetheless.

Our Heavenly Father, open our eyes and our hearts. Help us to see the wonderments in today. No matter how easy or how tough our day might be, the wonder of You in our hearts is our source of joy and our strength. Show us life by showing us more of You. Help us leave tomorrow alone so that we can live today. In Jesus’ Name, Amen. 🙏

Look closely at the sky..what do you see?
Breathe in the salt air
Hearts

My Falling Leaves 🍂🍂🍂

Summer is starting to make its exit for autumn’s arrival. The morning sun has and continues to shift. There is a crispness in the air. The days are brighter and I’m beginning to ‘see’ things with new clarity. The trees are beginning to let go of their slowly decaying leaves. I sit and watch as the leaves, faded green, yellow and brown, twist and fall, and dance gently across the yard on the breeze. Their time is drawing to a close.

Autumn is my favorite season. It’s a wonderful time to witness nature in all its magical, colorful glory. There are lessons to be learned in this new season. The trees are not holding on to those dead leaves that no longer have a purpose, instead they are being dispelled, to fall back to earth and eventually decay back into the soil whence they grew. A good reminder to me that I shouldn’t be holding on to the the dead weight of all that is holding me down. Covid knocked me to my knees. The isolation and loneliness unbearable. Yet, I’ve been pretty good at fooling myself and others that I’ve had a handle on things, that I was ok, until I wasn’t ok.

One cannot flourish in a new season carrying the dead weight of the past. For me, it’s grief, pain and despair. It’s loneliness and hopelessness. It’s bitterness and it’s fear. Throw in guilt and I’ve got myself a pretty heavy chain there. And truth is, I can’t do this alone………..

So, in this new season, I’m working on letting go and really turning to God for His strength and guidance. I’m studying Philippians at the moment, and this verse is one of my go to’s.

Philippians 4:6-7

Old habits are hard to break. One of those habits is thinking I can handle things on my own. I know I can’t, yet I try anyway. As a new Christian, I tend to get sidetracked by self, forgetting God is right there, just waiting to hear from me. In this new season, I plan on continually praying and asking Him to shine His light on my thoughts, on my life and journey as I work towards letting go of my ‘decaying leaves’ and these weights that bind me.

photo via Pinterest