SunRise….A Tanka ☀

Good Morning….this is my second morning waking up in my new home……I awoke, poured a mimosa and headed out to the yard….rolled a stump to the edge of the wild brush of my property,and sat beneath the ‘arms’ of my tree……


While waiting for the sun….I tried putting my writers cap back on…….


Sunrise paints the sky

A new day is beginning

My life continues

Just as each day dawns anew

My inner light will shine bright

©lindafedroff_may2017



SOLD

This. Just. Happened! (Yesterday)

My journey brought me here. My Jim, guiding the way…..I’m incredibly Blessed to have had this beautiful Soul of a person, Brianna, placed into my path, and join me on this rollercoaster ride of emotions…..she ‘held my hand’ every step of the way…..she brought me to a space I didn’t even know I wanted or needed……Thank You my sweet friend. ❤


This is all bittersweet and emotional for me……..7 months ago I lost the love of my life…but I know he’s with me. So,,until It’s time for me to be back in Jim’s arms…I. Am. Home ❤🏡


“I heard the breeze whisper your name to the trees. And the flowers giggled smiling at the leaves. I and my loneliness keep talking about you.” ~avijeet~

Sitting Beneath The Old Oak Tree 🌳

When the grief and the pain start to overwhelm me, my Soul Strolls these days, take me to the trees………where in the past, I was comforted by the song of the sea, I now find refuge sitting amongst the ‘old ones’.


Sitting beneath this beautiful Oak Tree, I found some quietude…I found some much needed peace….and a little bit of my voice.

Here I sit.

Under this big Oak Tree.

I feel her strength ,

I ‘hear’ her wisdom

Whispered in the wind.

She’s telling me

“You Are Strong”


Her leaves, they dance.

I rise,

And I dance too.

With each sway,

I feel lighter.

With each turn 

More grounded.

I have found my new home.

Amongst the trees…..

©lindafedroff_may2017


Silence 

Friday. My nemesis. Friday. The day he left. Today is 29 weeks, 203 days since Jim gained his wings. I’ve been working very hard at learning to celebrate my Friday’s and not dread them. I’d say I’m 70-30 there. 


This morning I came across this ‘quote’….”SILENCE IS PURE. IT DRAWS PEOPLE TOGETHER BECAUSE ONLY THOSE WHO ARE COMFORTABLE WITH EACH OTHER, CAN SIT WITHOUT SPEAKING.”


This made me smile as I remember out first ‘date’. We were two married people who knew each other from working in the same store, acquaintances, nothing more. I left the store and didn’t see Jim for almost 5 months. When we unexpectedly bumped into each other, turns out both our lives had changed. We were both separated. He said let’s go out for a burger and a beer sometime. That wouldn’t happen for another 2 months. When it did, we bought sandwiches and Rolling Rock Beer and went and sat on his friends boat. The conversation flowed easily, as we talked about out lives, our families. It was a beautiful late May Day. The sun was sparkling off the lake. We found ourselves just sitting, quietly, staring at the water as the boat gently rocked. I remember thinking in my head…This is so nice. The silence is comfortable. At some point, I had leaned into him and we just continued to sit in that beautiful quietude. 

2 people came together that day as friends looking for nothing more then conversation…we left that boat connected by something neither of us had ever experienced before. 

We would come to enjoy many many more of those silent comfortable moments………………..I have no doubt y’all know what I’m talking about. Today, I hope you’ll join me in finding and stealing some special quiet time to sit with the memory of your beloved.


I Love You Husband ❤


The picture of us below was taken by a friend last Memorial Day. I remember it well. No conversation…just the water and dragonflies and Jims hand on my arm ❤


200 Days……

I was out on my morning Soul Stroll…enjoying the cool breeze and bright sunshine…..all of a sudden, out of no where, I found myself doubled over. I felt like I was punched in the stomach and the tears, well they just came…..

Today…….


Two hundred days…

How can that be?

It’s been two hundred days

Since you left me……..


It’s crazy to me. How did that happen? I found myself sitting in the park, asking myself that question…the only answer I came up with, and I’m not sure it’s really an answer was, life goes on. Even though, two hundred days ago, the life I I knew came to an end….time didn’t stop, it didn’t stand still. 


So, I cried my tears on this two hundredth day…I let them fall until there was no more. I looked up at the beauty of the sun shining brightly through the trees….blew kisses to him and walked home, determined to make it through to day two hundred and one.

Today was not an easy day. Grief…sucks. I’m thankful I haven’t been crippled by it…but it sure does have a way of sneaking up and knocking the wind out of you……


Yep….