My Falling Leaves 🍂🍂🍂

Summer is starting to make its exit for autumn’s arrival. The morning sun has and continues to shift. There is a crispness in the air. The days are brighter and I’m beginning to ‘see’ things with new clarity. The trees are beginning to let go of their slowly decaying leaves. I sit and watch as the leaves, faded green, yellow and brown, twist and fall, and dance gently across the yard on the breeze. Their time is drawing to a close.

Autumn is my favorite season. It’s a wonderful time to witness nature in all its magical, colorful glory. There are lessons to be learned in this new season. The trees are not holding on to those dead leaves that no longer have a purpose, instead they are being dispelled, to fall back to earth and eventually decay back into the soil whence they grew. A good reminder to me that I shouldn’t be holding on to the the dead weight of all that is holding me down. Covid knocked me to my knees. The isolation and loneliness unbearable. Yet, I’ve been pretty good at fooling myself and others that I’ve had a handle on things, that I was ok, until I wasn’t ok.

One cannot flourish in a new season carrying the dead weight of the past. For me, it’s grief, pain and despair. It’s loneliness and hopelessness. It’s bitterness and it’s fear. Throw in guilt and I’ve got myself a pretty heavy chain there. And truth is, I can’t do this alone………..

So, in this new season, I’m working on letting go and really turning to God for His strength and guidance. I’m studying Philippians at the moment, and this verse is one of my go to’s.

Philippians 4:6-7

Old habits are hard to break. One of those habits is thinking I can handle things on my own. I know I can’t, yet I try anyway. As a new Christian, I tend to get sidetracked by self, forgetting God is right there, just waiting to hear from me. In this new season, I plan on continually praying and asking Him to shine His light on my thoughts, on my life and journey as I work towards letting go of my ‘decaying leaves’ and these weights that bind me.

photo via Pinterest

Saturday Reflection

And if I go , while you’re still here …
Know that I live on ,
Vibrating to a different measure
Behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me,
So you must have faith .
I wait for the time when we can soar
together again ,
Both aware of each other.
Until then , live your life to the fullest
And when you need me ,
Just whisper my name in your heart
… I will be there .

Emily Dickinson

Art by Kaye Parmenter

40 Day Sugar Fast…Day 13

DAY 13 — Saturday, January 18, 2020

If one verse could sum up the way we are crowding out sugar, it’s this one here: “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)

When we fix our eyes on Christ (and His righteousness) it’s miserably hard to fixate on foods.

Please take a moment to give me a big, juicy update. What is the Lord teaching you these days as you fast and pray? How has the Lord encouraged you? Share it below so that you might encourage others!

40 Day Sugar Fast

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Wow! This Chapter was just WOW. I’ve pretty much dieted on and off it seems like my whole life. I’ve been extremely heavy and I’ve been thin and everywhere in-between. When I hit the thin stage my thought was nothing feels better then skinny feels. I was treated differently thin..people made it a point to acknowledge me….when I was heavy, they did not. Thing was, even at my thinnest, I wasn’t fully happy or content. There was always something missing……………my journey has taken me up and down and all around, and because He is a loving and patient Father, He never gave up on me.

1 Samuel 16:7 really speaks to me…”The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

While I’m making progress in spending more time in Gods Word and prayer instead of reaching for the chocolate, wine and ice cream, I have to admit I’m still reaching for something to help me get through the nights. I’m making better choices in what I’m reaching for, but I’m still reaching.

Dear God I come to you for strength—strength of body, strength of mind and strength of soul. I feel the infilling of your Spirit. I feel the assurance of your upholding presence. Thank you, God, for strength.

40 Day Sugar Fast…Day 12

DAY 12 — Friday, January 17, 2020

Have you been able to pin-point some of your gnarliest food triggers? I love how Asheritah Ciuciu says it in her book, Full.

“It’s useful for us to determine what our particular triggers are, and when faced with that trigger, we can make the intentional choice of whether to go to God or go to food.”

Share a bit about your most stubborn food triggers and what God is teaching you. I can’t wait to read what you’re learning!

40 Day Sugar Fast

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There is no doubt that my main trigger(s) were/are feelings…loneliness, grief (sadness) mindless boredom. My husbands unexpected death in ‘16 found me at the age of 53 alone for the first time in my entire life. That first year, I lived on coffee …. grapes (aka wine)…the good ole cacao bean (aka dark chocolate in any form) and ice cream, with the occasional salad thrown in for good measure. 3 + years later, I still struggle. I struggle with cooking for one, wondering what’s the sense in it. It’s easier to pour a glass of wine ( I always cut mine with club soda to make it a bit more justifiable to myself 🤦🏻‍♀️) and snack on said chocolate or cheese and crackers or pretzels or whatever. It’s the nights though, when I’m settled in…whatever show I may be watching on Netflix, I need to have my hand busy feeding myself…..cue the big bowls of ice cream…or just a jar of peanut butter and a spoon.

Knowing all this and making the changes needed is slowly happening. I know I have to eat. I can’t fast in the sense that I not eat, that’s just not an option. What I’m learning here is that I can make better choices for myself and know that when I feel the urge to reach for something I don’t need, I can turn to my Bible, I can turn to my prayer journal, I can turn to silent communion with God, and feast.