Revealing Reflection?

The Sandbox Writing Challenge-Exercise 1

You find yourself in a quiet room looking at your reflection in this beautiful old mirror. What do you see? Is there anything in particular you like about yourself? Is there anything you don’t like? Tell us about it.

This is me this morning. Tired and worn. I’ve aged quite a bit in the last 15 months. Sadness in my eyes. No real spark to see. Grief is not pretty. It’s taken it’s toll. This morning, this reflection, I see half the woman I once was. With Jim I felt whole. I see a lonely me.

With that said, it doesn’t necessarily reflect what’s hidden beneath this morning’s facade. There IS a spark lit behind the sadness. Inside I Am A Widow-Warrior. Determination resides in my heart. Some days there is even a real smile to be worn. Some days no tears fall.

What ‘mask’ will I be wearing later on today? Tomorrow? I have no clue……just like day turns to night..like the ebb and flow of the waves, my reflection, along with my emotions, can and does change in an instant.

An afternoon, before the rain comes Soul-Stroll…and a tree-hug helps!

I AM WORTHY!! 

Here we are, Week 25 of The Sandbox Writing Challenge. This week we’re tackling Vulnerability. Oh Yay! (She says sarcastically!)

So, I started digging, skimming the surface for some simple, even superficial answer…then thought what the hell,,dig a bigger hole Linda. Here’s what I found. 



Vulnerable….



After years of hurt…

Years of pain…

Grown-up me

Has broken free…..


Yet…..

The little girl inside of me….

Way deep inside…

Still hopes…

Still waits…

For acceptance…

For love..

©lindafedroff-february3,2016



I’ve spoken quite a bit about my past….and through the Sandbox I’ve discovered the courage to deal with and admit things that have been buried for a long time. 

I believe I’ll always be ‘vulnerable’ when it comes to my parents. The withholding of their love, the feelings of inadequacy, of not being good enough…with the hope that someday they’ll realize I’m worth knowing, worth loving……………..Then I snap myself out of that little fantasy, ’cause quite honestly, to give them the opportunity to mess with my head/mind or my heart/emotions is not something I’m willing to do. I may be susceptible but I ain’t stupid!! I accept and acknowledge that their lack of love and acceptance is their problem..I Know I’m worthy and deserving…..but I’m also human and every now and then…………..

  

Please Send Me To My Room 🏕

My dear friend Calen, over at Impromptu Promptlings, posed this question….So my question for you, dear reader, is, if you could have a space of your own AWAY from your home and design it how you’d want it, what would it be like? Or would you even WANT that? If not, why not?

“Each place is the right place–the place where I now am can be a sacred space.” ~Ravi Ravindra~

Here’s a picture of my ‘little space’ at the moment.  It’s in our living room. We live in a very small island cottage, and though it’s just the two of us and a 100 pound German Shepard, we are literally on top of one another. To be fair, I do have a few hours each day of ‘alone’ time, as hubby is still working…but retirement looms on the horizon.


I’m not very good with adjectives and describing my ‘ideal’ space, so I’ll share a few photos of spaces the I could be very happy with….they don’t have to be in another area, I’d actually love it if I could have my own ‘Tiny Cottagein my backyard.

(Photos via Pinterest)

(Photo via Pinterest)

“The calm within the storm is where peace lives and breathes. It is not within perfect circumstances or a charmed life… it is not conditional. Peace is a sacred space within, it is the temple of our internal landscape. We are free to visit it, whenever we seek sanctuary. Underneath the chaos of everyday living, peace is patiently awaiting our discovery… go within.” ~ Jaeda DeWalt~

 

(photos via Pinterest)