Authentically Vulnerable

Another week, another go-round at The Sandbox . This weeks challenge is:

What makes you feel vulnerable?

As always, remember to include the link to this post on YOUR blog post. Or if your response isn’t overly long, feel free to leave it in the comment section below. And please feel free to interpret the prompt however you wish: memoirs, poems, pictures, etc.

If you would like to see the previous prompts, they’re listed in the menu at the top of the blog in The Sandbox Writing Challenge. But please feel free to just jump in wherever we are at the moment! After all, the prompts are really for YOU to get to know YOURSELF. (Posts from past prompts you wish to tackle will always be added to the current week’s challenge page.)

So if you don’t mind BEING vulnerable, what is IT or the THINGS that make you feel vulnerable?

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As I was sitting here at my desk writing this piece, I heard a noise. Something fell.

I looked out my front window, nothing. I then opened the curtains on my back sliders and well….my heart broke….I took this first picture this morning….

And here’s what the noise was 😢 now talk about feeling vulnerable…I was cutting the grass this morning…..thank goodness it didn’t decide to fall while I was under it!!!!

Ok…..so now back to my original post.

While Sharing anything I write Always brings with it a huge sense of vulnerability, it’s the sharing of my grief and pain, and inner darkness that really leaves me feeling open and raw and vulnerable……and yet, by honestly admitting my truths to myself and then sharing them, I set myself free. It’s always been my hope since I first started ‘writing’ my poetry, that my words would touch others in some way……later on, as I began my first expedition digging in the ‘Sandbox’, my hope was, and still is, that by being honest with myself, I could possibly heal that which was broken inside of me, and whilst I was healing and mending via finding my voice through my words..maybe, just maybe, my words could help someone else in some small way.

And if that isn’t enough to have me feeling open and vulnerable, just this morning I was asked to be an administrator/editor for the private FB writers group!!! And my recent poem was shared to the group. I got a belly full of dragonflies, I can tell you!! I’m humbled to be included and I look forward to the workshop. I know I’ll be going in full throttle, ready to open and expose and share what I have inside. What I have, deep inside, mixed in with my vulnerable side, is a survivor and a thriver….mix that trinity with a whole lot of courage and creativity and I just may come up with something good……so let’s bring it on 👊

New Discoveries…New Truth

I’m a week into my visit here on Chincoteague. This visit is proving to be more then I thought, in ways I’d never imagined. I came here anticipating a homecoming of sorts……what I’m finding is, those words ‘you can’t go home again’, to be #mytruth.

I’m Living my life and seeing this place through just Linda’s eyes now…….and a whole new picture is being painted. Amazingly though, this doesn’t make me sad. I feel as though a hidden veil has been lifted and I’m seeing with more clarity then I have since Jim died. I’m seeing that I have a whole new life ahead of me…and that there is so much more to discover and learn about myself…..that at this time of transition, I Am Growing.

I’ve returned again

To this place we called home.

So many changes.

Unrecognizable.

And the realization, once again

That change is inevitable.

AND

With that realization

A new truth.

My truth.

Is revealed.

I CANNOT GO BACK.

WHAT ENDED HAS ACTUALLY

BECOME A (MY) NEW BEGINNING

A (MY) HOPEFUL NEW NOW……

©lindafedroff_april16,2018

Day 3 of The 3 Day Quote Challenge

Thank you once again BreakdownChick for tossing me into the ring with this….I’m such a quote nerd and it’s been so long…….this one popped up in my FB On This Day feature, seems I shared this one 6 months before Jim died…..never thought at this point in my life I’d be a Surviving Widow, yet that is a part of who I Am now….this is a part of my journey, my #truth

Fanning My Widow’s Inner Flame 🔥

Welcome back to The Sandbox Writing Challenge-Exercise 7! This week’s challenge MAY be an easy one for you, but maybe NOT! We’ve already touched on what makes us unique, but now we’d like to know what it is about you or that you do that makes you stand out from those around you? It’s hard for some of us to give ourselves the kudos we truly deserve, so here’s your chance to do just that. (And we all LOVE you, so go for it with gusto!) Don’t hold back now!

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Now tell us, please, what makes you…

SHINE

 

 

 

Without looking back at my first go round with the SBWC..I believe it’s a pretty safe bet that part of my answer to this prompt was my bubbly personality and positive outlook on life were what made me shine..right down to the rose-colored glasses….

 

That was then….This is now.

 

This time things are different. I’m different. My rose-colored glasses aren’t as rosy as they used to be, and though I still wear them, his death definitely has blurred how I look through those glasses now.

 

One of the reasons I feel I shone so brightly was Jim and the life we shared together. When he died, part of my spark, my inner light went Poof… and died with him. But, even when a fire is extinguished, some embers still remain. With the whisper of a breathe, a new spark can be ignited….that whisper is our continued Love, a Love that continues to live and burn in my heart.

 

As a Phoenix will arise from the ashes, Our Love and Hope is what pours forth from within me…..I feel the need, strongly, to fan that flame and keep the fire burning……..I feel deep within that this is part of my calling. I have this burning desire to help others find some hope while struggling to find their own foothold on this journey of loss we’re on…..from the ashes of pain, hope glows like embers and reignites my Spirit so I Can continue to SHINE….

 

So, while I will wear those rose colored glasses, I’ve given myself permission to harden’ just a bit…..while I accept this journey of mine, the passivity I’ve chosen to treat Jims death with needed to be addressed…. sooooooo this is me giving the finger to death and sporting my BadAss Widow Shirt….when I decide to Shine, I SHINE!!!