It’s hard to believe that we are 24 weeks into this dig over at The Sandbox Writing Challenge…..This week we are being taking back to the past with the following prompt: WHAT ARE YOU HOLDING ONTO FROM THE PAST? **********************************************************************************I have no clue as to what my response was during my first dig in the sandbox…..my immediate response this time was Guilt. Guilt for how I handled things during my first marriage. Realizing and coming to terms with the consequences of my actions, I had to take responsibility and be accountable for my choices. At the time, I wasn’t aware nor did I care about the ripple effect those choices had on my children. When the time came and I was able to make amends, I asked and was given the forgiveness I needed from them. At least on the surface…..The guilt, though, has a habit of resurfacing, especially via my youngest, and for some reason, I always allow it. When she’s in the midst of one of her meltdowns as I call them, she reminds me of how I failed her. I allow her to rip the scabs off those old wounds, so I can hurt, because I know she is hurting. I know she is responsible now for her own happiness, for learning how to deal with her ‘stuff’ just as I have had to and still do, yet the guilt is always there, just below the surface. I try my damnedest to ‘make up’ for the choices I made that so affected her, but no matter what I do or how hard I try, I’m always the one who gets the brunt of her wrath. Will it always be this way? I sure as hell hope not….I know it falls directly on me. I have the power within to make the choice to let it go…yet I continually punish myself and feel it is my cross to bear *sigh* Well, the one positive in all this is I’m very much aware of it 😳 Now I just need to grab the keys and unlock the door to my self imposed prison and set myself free once and for all 🗝[photos via Pixabay]
I was invited to join the 3 quotes in 3 days challenge via Breakdownchick ….thank you for the invite 😊
It’s been awhile since I played along in anything so I thought I’d jump in. This first quote was shared with me yesterday while chatting on the phone with my dear sister friend Lady Calen over at Impromptu Promptlings. She has been an amazing source of strength and encouragement to me for a few years now…….anyway, I was sharing a story with her in regards to family dysfunction/anger and she said she had a quote to share that was just recently shared with her……when she read it to me over the phone my entire body turned into one huge goosebump ( not a pretty visual I know 😄) I immediately sent it to my family member who was on the receiving end of another family members anger……
This weeks installment of the SANDBOX WRITING CHALLENGE has us contemplating and answering the following…….
Have to admit there have been times I’ve asked myself that very same thing Calvin! 😬
When confronted with a problem
I used to run away
Or close my ‘eyes’ and ignore it,
In hopes it would just go away……
That was then, This is now…
I handle things differently.
When a problem arises
Now, what I do,
Depends upon the degree of problem.
I may take a Soul Stroll
To ponder the issue,
Write it in the sand,
And let it go…….
Other times, I seek counsel
With someone close to me.
We talk it out,
We work it out
Together we can conquer anything……
Then there are ‘those’ times
When all I can do is shrug…
The answer isn’t quite so clear.
In those times, I have found,
The best thing to do, is ‘put it out there’
I’ve learned that if the answer to a problem
Is really hard to come by,,
Then maybe, just maybe, the solution isn’t
Meant to be found at the moment…..
Answers have come and will come,
when they’re meant to,
And then there are those times,
When I can’t get a grasp on it,
I sit with Grandpa’s Bible in my hand.
I ‘talk’ to him.
I know he listens,
I’ve seen/felt the signs….
Giving them over
When I’m feeling at a loss
Frees me up and lightens the load….
Problems…they will come
They will go…..
I choose to confront them
In as positive a way as I can…..
Do I stress, do I get anxious?!
Yes,,,,but it’s usually short lived,
Cause worrying doesn’t help nor is it a solution……
I have found worrying only exasperates the problem…….
I Will continue to wear my Rose-Colored Glasses and keep on keepin’ on, no matter what life throws at me! 😎