4 years. A Widow.

Despite his physical absence, I love my Jim. He will always live on inside my heart.❤️

First, let me say, I Love October. Autumn is my favorite season. The colors. The smells. The crispness in the air. Pumpkin everything!!!Still warm temperatures. But then you have the other side of October.

It’s the anniversary of Jim’s death, his deathiversary has arrived for the fourth time. There’s no outrunning it. There’s nowhere to hide from it. My favorite season also transports me back to that day four years ago that I learned what it was to grieve, really grieve.

So much has happened in those four years, yet some days it feels like Jim died yesterday. It’s hard to believe that my life could go on without him, but somehow it has. Without him I had no idea how to exist. But bit by bit, I’m coming to a place where I’m realigning and I’m moving forward. I’m throwing away all preconceived ideas of what I thought my life should be looking like four years later.

Instead, I’m trusting that God has each day of my life perfectly planned out for me to the day that I depart from this life.Today, I’m turning my grief to blessings by remembering that God is guiding my steps.

“The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)

Father, Thank You that there is healing in Your presence. Fill me fresh with Your Spirit and renew my heart and mind in Your truth. I release my sorrow to You, and I ask You to fill every void in my heart with Your peace and love.Thank You for my Jim’s life on this earth and the time I had with him. I know I will see him again in Your timing. I choose to give You honor and praise always. Thank You Father for healing my heart. In Jesus’s name I pray, Amen

Missing Him

Today I’ve reached the two and a half year mark since Jim gained his wings…it still boggles my mind how incredibly fast the time has and does continue to fly by. But, each day brings me one day closer to being reunited with him…in the meantime, the hands of time keep ticking away.

I. Love. You. Husband.

Time,
Is measured in hours, minutes and seconds…
My life,
Is measured by the amount of days
You’ve been gone…
Today.
912 days
Since I last saw your face,
Heard your voice…
Kissed and felt your touch.
I didn’t think I could
Live without you.
What I have discovered is,
I’m not.
Though you’re physically not here,
You reside deep within me,
Deep Deep in my heart.
Always and Forever.
©lindafedroff_april14

 

60EC5918-E3EA-4A47-8981-2262E4A55B10.jpeg

❤️

 

 

Today I Am Grateful..

I am a few days late but decided I needed and wanted to do this again as I wake each morning with a Heart filled with Gratitude.  

******************************************************

5AB5EB3D-8F04-4591-B9EE-0913E5495D71.jpeg

Day 1: I Am Grateful for every moment, every hug, every kiss, every smile and tear that Jim and I shared over our 14+ years together…it was an amazing journey of ups and downs, twists, turns and detours…but together, we lived an amazing life…so I’m Grateful for My Jim…for our time together and the memories I get to hold on to……all the while feeling his Spirit Live on my Heart and Soul ❤️🙏

5AA2F2FD-B388-435C-8527-5DEDA5500977.jpeg

Thank You For Loving Me 

#grateful #thankful #blessed

My Love

Alrighty….it is now time for Exercise 11 of the Sandbox Writing Challenge. This weeks prompt is as follows:

WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL LOVED?

HIM.

“It was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul. ~Judy Garland~

“It’s clear to me now that I have been moving toward you and you toward me for a long time. Though neither of us was aware of the other before we met, there was a kind of mindless certainty bumming blithely along beneath our ignorance that ensured we would come together. Like two solitary birds flying the great prairies by celestial reckoning, all of these years and lifetimes we have been moving toward one another.” ~Robert James Waller, Bridges Of Madison County~

It’s been 75 weeks now since Jim gained his wings and left this earth. What I have discovered over the course of my widowed journey is that LOVE GOES ON and IT CONTINUES TO GROW. Our Love didn’t die with Jim. Instead it transcends time and space……..How do I know that, you may ask. How can I not?

I FEEL IT. Just as surely as if he was sitting here next to me. While here with me, he promised to always take care of me. From where he is now, he is keeping his promise to me. With a Grateful and Thankful and humbled Heart I feel and know his love.

It’s that Love that I draw strength and comfort from.

TOGETHER, WE BUILT

A FOUNDATION OF LOVE.

A LOVE STRONG ENOUGH

TO HOLD US TOGETHER

THROUGH ETERNITY

©lindafedroff