30 Days Of Gratitude…Day 8 🙏

This photo popped up in my FB memories. Though it was taken 5 years ago, I can still remember that afternoon/night vividly. Today marks 161 weeks..that’s 1,127 days since Jim died.

On day 8 I Am Thankful and Grateful for my memories ❤️🙏✝️

“So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you.” ( John 16:22)

Missing Him

Today I’ve reached the two and a half year mark since Jim gained his wings…it still boggles my mind how incredibly fast the time has and does continue to fly by. But, each day brings me one day closer to being reunited with him…in the meantime, the hands of time keep ticking away.

I. Love. You. Husband.

Time,
Is measured in hours, minutes and seconds…
My life,
Is measured by the amount of days
You’ve been gone…
Today.
912 days
Since I last saw your face,
Heard your voice…
Kissed and felt your touch.
I didn’t think I could
Live without you.
What I have discovered is,
I’m not.
Though you’re physically not here,
You reside deep within me,
Deep Deep in my heart.
Always and Forever.
©lindafedroff_april14

 

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❤️

 

 

My Magic Moments

Over at The Sandbox, for week 26 we’re asked the following…it’s actual a two-fer if we’re so inclined to dig along!!

                                What makes life magical?

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          What would your perfectly magical day be like?

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Im combining the two cause that just how I roll…..
To answer the first question, “What makes life magical?” My response at this moment in my life was being and spending time with Jim. The magical moments of my life were moments, that when added up, equate to 14 years of a magical journey with the man I love.

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Magic was meeting someone, who for all intent and purposes, was NOT my idea of who I would or should be with.
Magic was that first, unexpected kiss. Magic was the torrential rainstorm we got caught up in after our wedding. Magic was that amazing blanket of comfortable silence that wrapped us when we were together.

Magic was packing our bags and moving to another state with $400 in our pockets, no jobs but lots of dreams.

Magic was living out that dream, by the beach
Magic was all those mimosa sunrises we were blessed to witness together.
Magic was living as much of a lifetime as we could in the time we were allotted.

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My Magic was and Is Loving Jim.

As for the second question, “What would your perfectly magical day be like?”
My Perfect Day would be to spend just one more day with Jim, on the beach, from sun up till sun down. Mimosas in the morning, cooking breakfast on the Coleman stove set out on the tailgate of our truck. Fishing lines casted out. The beach entirely to ourselves. A skinny dip. Talking, laughing, loving.

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Raw oysters and beer in the late afternoon…long walk on the beach talking and reminiscing. More laughing, more loving.

Sun is setting…cuddled up around a small fire on the beach. I’m breathing in his scent knowing he has to go back. No words need to be spoken now. Tears do begin to silently fall, he brushes mine away, I brush his away. And then, my Magical Day slips away into the darkness, riding the waves to eternity. All the while We Know. Our Love is Forever. ❤

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Top photo via Pixabay

B&Wphoto via Reddit

My Memories Became Dreams…My Dreams Became Memories…..He Misses Me….

As a widow, holding on to my memories is paramount to my healing…helping to make this journey as positive one as I can muster under the circumstances.

Jims visits in my dreams don’t come often, so when he he does decide to make an appearance I feel incredibly Blessed. He paid me a visit last night……

My Memories Became Dreams..My Dreams Became Memories…

You came to me in

a dream last night…

It’s been a while

since I saw there….

You were sitting at the table

Real as could be….

Smiling,

it all became clear.

No words were spoken.

They weren’t needed,

for I could ‘read’ it all in your eyes.

They ‘said’,

“I AM Always With You,

I WILL Always Love You,

and I know you’re not surprised….”

Upon my lips,

You placed a gentle lingering kiss…

Leading me to KNOW

THAT I TOO, AM MISSED.

©lindafedroff_february26,2018

Revealing Reflection?

The Sandbox Writing Challenge-Exercise 1

You find yourself in a quiet room looking at your reflection in this beautiful old mirror. What do you see? Is there anything in particular you like about yourself? Is there anything you don’t like? Tell us about it.

This is me this morning. Tired and worn. I’ve aged quite a bit in the last 15 months. Sadness in my eyes. No real spark to see. Grief is not pretty. It’s taken it’s toll. This morning, this reflection, I see half the woman I once was. With Jim I felt whole. I see a lonely me.

With that said, it doesn’t necessarily reflect what’s hidden beneath this morning’s facade. There IS a spark lit behind the sadness. Inside I Am A Widow-Warrior. Determination resides in my heart. Some days there is even a real smile to be worn. Some days no tears fall.

What ‘mask’ will I be wearing later on today? Tomorrow? I have no clue……just like day turns to night..like the ebb and flow of the waves, my reflection, along with my emotions, can and does change in an instant.

An afternoon, before the rain comes Soul-Stroll…and a tree-hug helps!