40 Day Sugar Fast…Day 12

DAY 12 — Friday, January 17, 2020

Have you been able to pin-point some of your gnarliest food triggers? I love how Asheritah Ciuciu says it in her book, Full.

“It’s useful for us to determine what our particular triggers are, and when faced with that trigger, we can make the intentional choice of whether to go to God or go to food.”

Share a bit about your most stubborn food triggers and what God is teaching you. I can’t wait to read what you’re learning!

40 Day Sugar Fast

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There is no doubt that my main trigger(s) were/are feelings…loneliness, grief (sadness) mindless boredom. My husbands unexpected death in ‘16 found me at the age of 53 alone for the first time in my entire life. That first year, I lived on coffee …. grapes (aka wine)…the good ole cacao bean (aka dark chocolate in any form) and ice cream, with the occasional salad thrown in for good measure. 3 + years later, I still struggle. I struggle with cooking for one, wondering what’s the sense in it. It’s easier to pour a glass of wine ( I always cut mine with club soda to make it a bit more justifiable to myself 🤦🏻‍♀️) and snack on said chocolate or cheese and crackers or pretzels or whatever. It’s the nights though, when I’m settled in…whatever show I may be watching on Netflix, I need to have my hand busy feeding myself…..cue the big bowls of ice cream…or just a jar of peanut butter and a spoon.

Knowing all this and making the changes needed is slowly happening. I know I have to eat. I can’t fast in the sense that I not eat, that’s just not an option. What I’m learning here is that I can make better choices for myself and know that when I feel the urge to reach for something I don’t need, I can turn to my Bible, I can turn to my prayer journal, I can turn to silent communion with God, and feast.

Writing My Story📝

My story…proof that life can be scary and bizarre, yet wonderful. Heartbreaking yet amazing. 

My story…is far from finished, and it won’t be till I’m in the ground ( in my case, my ashes scattered to the wind). New passions. New adventures. New people. New purpose. Possibilities arise with each new day.

My story…the next new chapter of my life is being  written. 

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My Life = Moments Of Becoming and Achieving My Dreams and Aspirations 

Found this tucked away in my journal from 2015….it deserves to see the light again. 

THINKING OUT LOUD

There is a place where my soul feels at rest. Where my heart beats in a gentle rhythm and my feet are steady.

There is a time when I feel alive from my head to my toes. When I know I’m living my purpose. When I am my most authentic self.

There is a place where my hips sway to a pulse known only to me. Where my mind wanders in and out with the waves. Where my eyes shine with the sun.

There is a time when I am grounded and simple. When I am full. When I am easy. When everything just works.

There is a place without struggle. Without fear. Without worry. Without barriers. Where I can feel. A place where I can see.

There is a time when there is only love, and light, and happiness. Where there is song, and dance, and celebration, of living.

There is a place that sparks a change. That grows the will of ten thousand men and the strength of a million. There is a place that inspires a new existence.

There is a time that is right. Opportunities are abundant. Thanks are offered. Praise given freely. When I just know. When I just, do.

There is a place. There is a time.

This is that place. That time is now.

(Author Unknown)

 

12 Nights Of Solstice..Night 5

Night Five’s meditation found me outside once again, in hopes of seeing some of the media shower…unfortunately cloud cover prevented me from seeing anything….

Over at JourneyPathInstitute  Cat’s invitation to activate your vision in a new way, from a new perspective was my inspiration … as well as this poem I came across and needed to share.

 

Winds of Change

When I chose to confine myself in my self constructed shell

I had been wilting

After having suffered through droughts

And floods

And lack of minerals!

Why, like Sleeping Beauty

I remained enclosed

Cut off from the rest of the world

Choosing to let myself twirl

In the many layers of my dreams

Hoping that I do get lost in these

So that I may forget about my reality

That of being, a wilted and scarred lily!

But then, one night, the moon started dancing

With such grace and exuberance

That the wolves howled with pride and confidence

And leaves shook with unexplained frenzy

Why, the winds have changed!

They brought with them, alterations to my planned confinement

My shell blew apart

Leaving me, confused and perplexed

To admire the moon’s dance

And to let the wolves’ howls drown my senses!

Pray, the winds have changed

As they no more wished to see me confined

The winds have changed

As they desired it that I love the mundane plane

Yes, Mother Earth and the Goddess of Life

Are not to be blamed for any of those mishaps

That broke me!

The winds have changed

As they wanted me to open my heart,

Filter through them to reach their warmth

And let it submerge my frail essence

In its twisting love kaleidoscope!

Pray, winds of change come to knock me down

Willing me to get back up

Lower my guards

Throw away my swords

And ride the wolves

To there where I am awaited

There, wherever that may be

There, wherever fate will it to be!

Pray, the winds of change

Kissed my soul

And like Sleeping Beauty

I woke up, only to embrace

My new reality!

For Contest Winds of Change

Written on 31 August 2017

Anoucheka Gangabissoon’s Winds Of Change

I discovered a new app to play with and came up with this creation….I superimposed a photo of myself onto the purple background and then added the dragonflies…..a new way for me to get creative….

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#backgrounds via pixaby