First, let me say, I Love October. Autumn is my favorite season. The colors. The smells. The crispness in the air. Pumpkin everything!!!Still warm temperatures. But then you have the other side of October.
It’s the anniversary of Jim’s death, his deathiversary has arrived for the fourth time. There’s no outrunning it. There’s nowhere to hide from it. My favorite season also transports me back to that day four years ago that I learned what it was to grieve, really grieve.
So much has happened in those four years, yet some days it feels like Jim died yesterday. It’s hard to believe that my life could go on without him, but somehow it has. Without him I had no idea how to exist. But bit by bit, I’m coming to a place where I’m realigning and I’m moving forward. I’m throwing away all preconceived ideas of what I thought my life should be looking like four years later.
Instead, I’m trusting that God has each day of my life perfectly planned out for me to the day that I depart from this life.Today, I’m turning my grief to blessings by remembering that God is guiding my steps.
“The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 (ESV)
Father, Thank You that there is healing in Your presence. Fill me fresh with Your Spirit and renew my heart and mind in Your truth. I release my sorrow to You, and I ask You to fill every void in my heart with Your peace and love.Thank You for my Jim’s life on this earth and the time I had with him. I know I will see him again in Your timing. I choose to give You honor and praise always. Thank You Father for healing my heart. In Jesus’s name I pray, Amen