40 Day Sugar Fast…Day 12

DAY 12 — Friday, January 17, 2020

Have you been able to pin-point some of your gnarliest food triggers? I love how Asheritah Ciuciu says it in her book, Full.

“It’s useful for us to determine what our particular triggers are, and when faced with that trigger, we can make the intentional choice of whether to go to God or go to food.”

Share a bit about your most stubborn food triggers and what God is teaching you. I can’t wait to read what you’re learning!

40 Day Sugar Fast

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There is no doubt that my main trigger(s) were/are feelings…loneliness, grief (sadness) mindless boredom. My husbands unexpected death in ‘16 found me at the age of 53 alone for the first time in my entire life. That first year, I lived on coffee …. grapes (aka wine)…the good ole cacao bean (aka dark chocolate in any form) and ice cream, with the occasional salad thrown in for good measure. 3 + years later, I still struggle. I struggle with cooking for one, wondering what’s the sense in it. It’s easier to pour a glass of wine ( I always cut mine with club soda to make it a bit more justifiable to myself 🤦🏻‍♀️) and snack on said chocolate or cheese and crackers or pretzels or whatever. It’s the nights though, when I’m settled in…whatever show I may be watching on Netflix, I need to have my hand busy feeding myself…..cue the big bowls of ice cream…or just a jar of peanut butter and a spoon.

Knowing all this and making the changes needed is slowly happening. I know I have to eat. I can’t fast in the sense that I not eat, that’s just not an option. What I’m learning here is that I can make better choices for myself and know that when I feel the urge to reach for something I don’t need, I can turn to my Bible, I can turn to my prayer journal, I can turn to silent communion with God, and feast.

40 Day Sugar Fast….Day 8

DAY 8 — Monday, January 13, 2020

What have you turned to in your stress over the years? If it is anything other than Christ, it wasn’t created to carry you through this life — let alone into the eternal-life prepared for us? You may have known that at the start of this fast (that it’s not sugar’s job) but what are you learning about Christ’s desire and ability to carry you through?

Isn’t He faithful? Isn’t He strong? Isn’t He wonderful?

Tell me if you’re finding Him true to His Word: “Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the upholder of my life.” (Psalm 54:4)

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This first week has opened my eyes to how I mindlessly reached for something sugary and sweet just because….whether it was my grief, boredom, stress or anxiety or watching Netflix, I always had something within reach to snack on……but now, I’m turning to reading Scripture, praying, even coloring while listening to instrumental music when urges really hit.

Just a little while ago, while going through some totes, my thoughts, on this unseasonably warm day in January, went to my late husband. Tears started to fall as I remember how much he loved this kind of weather, excited to put on a pair of shorts and grill something on his Weber. Suddenly it hit me that tomorrow will be 39 months since he died. Truth be told, I wanted to pour myself a glass of wine and break off a big ole piece of dark chocolate for lunch..instead I sipped herbal tea while reading Day 8 and writing this…….and I remember a late summer day in August of ‘17, 10 months after my husband died, and I wanted nothing more then to be with him..so much so I had written goodbye notes to my children. I sat down on the floor and for the first time in my life I really Really turned to God, telling Him I couldn’t do this alone anymore, I didn’t want to do it alone, and I needed Him. My life forever changed that day. There is no doubt He is truly the upholder of my life 🙏

Not long after that, Psalm 94:4 found its way to me…it’s become my life verse.

He shall cover you with His feathers,

And under His wings you shall take refuge; ( Psalm 94:4)

Happy New Years Eve 2019

The hands of time

Tick tocking the moments away.

Soon,

The final chapter

Of this book will be written,

The last period put in place.

And the book will be closed.

Reflection will follow.

There were stormy seas

That pounded and tried to break me.

There were times of peaceful calm,

When all seemed right.

What I have found

On this journey,

Is that my life

Is/was somewhere in the middle.

The rough seas help make me stronger.

The calm revitalizes.

In the middle, I find a cohesiveness

That makes my life’s journey

Explicitly my own.

The book is closed now.

A new one ready to be written.

While I hold the pencil ( I like to have the ability to erase)

God will guide my hand

and help me turn the page,

Let the journey continue.

©linda_december

Happy New Years Eve Folks!! This gal is under the weather, so I’ll be snuggling in with meds, tissues and Philip 😻

There’s gonna be a whole lot of reflection going on, a decades worth 😳 as I say bye bye 2019 and hello 2020. It boggles my mind to think that 2020 will be the fourth full year that Jim isn’t here. So much change, growth, transformation has occurred in my life. The me-myself and I, I am today, is unrecognizable of who I was at the end of 2016. I know he’s proud if me. I’m proud of me.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

30 Days Of Gratitude…Day 30

Today…this last day of November, I AM GRATEFUL FOR MY JIM

Thank you Husband…..For your love and hugs.

For listening. Always listening, and never judging.

Our talks….Midnight grilled cheese chats and 3 a.m.

conversations about our journey together.

And the laughter….So much laughter. 😄

Thank you for giving me All of you, and accepting All

Of me, for in doing so, We became an Us ❤️

Thank you for 14 years 4 months of partnership…

I will cherish the memories and be Grateful

For every single moment of our journey and life

Together. The ups. The downs. The detours.

No matter where my journey takes me, you will be there. For it was through you that I learned to see, love and accept myself. You gave me the strength to grow……and I will honor your memory by continuing to do so…….you gave me my wings baby,,,,I’m gonna Fly. I. Love. You ❤️❤️❤️

His Journey
Don’t think of him as gone away, his journey’s just begun,
Life holds so many facets, this earth is only one.
Just think of him as resting, from the sorrows and the tears,
In a place of warmth and comfort, where there are no days or years.
Think how he must be wishing, that we could know today,
How nothing but our sadness, can really pass away.
And think of him as living, in the hearts of those he touched.
For nothing loved is ever lost, and he was/is loved so much. (author unknown)