Creative Hunger

This week in The Sandbox Writing Challenge    

Roberta Allen wants to know:

WHAT DO YOU HUNGER FOR?

And we’re not just talking about food here. What is there in your life that you feel you need to sustain you, or would help to sustain you — it may just be wishful thinking, but identifying that need is a crucial, pivotal point in our dreams and desires. Can’t wait to see what you come up with this week!

*****************************************************

Though this weeks Challenge was presented to us last week, I’m just now getting to it, and I do believe there was a reason I procrastinated, albeit unconsciously.

I went away for the weekend and attended my very first retreat.The facilitator of this particular retreat was a friend, the purpose, writing.

#writepublishpromote has been a dream of Carols. A dream she brought to life. When I decided to commit to this weekend, it was with a bit, ok, A Lot of trepidation at first. Am I really a writer?!? Am I good enough to even call myself that?!? Was I worth the investment?!?! I decided I was…..and I Am!!

Like a sponge ( or for the sake of this prompt, like a big ole piece of bread soaking up all the yummy gravy in the bottom of the bowl!) I soaked up Carol’s knowledge…..

I spent time with crazy talented, creative people. We shared and played off of each other’s creativity. We even had Santa Clause in the mix…….I’m hungry for more time with these amazing people. We met on Friday as strangers….we shared 6 meals together and hours of our words, and thoughts, and ideas. We came together as strangers and departed family. What a gift to be a part of this first writers group. Can’t wait for the reunion 😊

I’m hungry for more words to be written…….more photos to be taken…more pictures to be painted…..I’m finding my creative appetite to be insatiable. Guess I need to get my butt in gear and start feeding it huh?!?!?! 😄

What My Smile Is Saying – Sandbox Writing Challenge – Exercise 28

Alrighty, after skipping a week and letting the sand settle a bit, it’s time to pick up the shovel and get back to digging over at The Sandbox Writing Challenge. This weeks prompt is………………

What could possibly make me feel this way?

Love this!!! Have you been flattered, gifted, surprised, overwhelmed, been made proud of someone, just seen something funny… Can’t wait to see what ya’ll come up with!
As always, remember to include the link to this post on YOUR blog post. Or if your response isn’t overly long, feel free to leave it in the comment section below. And please feel free to interpret the prompt however you wish: memoirs, poems, pictures, etc.

*****************************************************

Would you recognize
This woman I’m growing to be?
Cause the truth of the matter is
I’m not the same woman I used to be.
The day you unexpectedly left,
My world turned upside down.
On my own for the first time
I felt I just might drown……

Not only did I not drown
I’m growing inside you see.
A different Linda’s emerging each day
For all the world to see….

Gaining strength and confidence
Mixed with some independence too.
I like this new Linda I’m becoming
Considering all I’ve been through.

AND

Knowing you as I do
You’d embrace and be proud of this new me.
With continued words of encouragement
To live my life care-free…

You were always my biggest supporter
Cheerleader.
My Rock.
Knowing you’d not only approve
But dig this new Me
That’s no shock………….

I’m blessed knowing your ‘out there’
Your overwhelming love and energy I feel.
Wherever this journey takes me
My smile will reveal…..

A woman who was gifted
To be wife to an amazing man
Who’s Love lives on inside her heart
Until they meet again.
©lindafedroff_august13,2018

22 months you’ve been gone…I Will Always Love You Husband ❤

 

Love Has No Boundaries ❤

Well, here we are excavating exercise 27 over at The Sandbox Writing Challenge. This weeks one, for me is an emotional one. I remember it well from my first dig. The prompt this week is…….

If you were to give this baby (child) something you lacked early in life, what would it be?

 

Unconditional Love. And Protection. Period.

As an adult in my middle 50’s it’s still hard for me to wrap my head around it. The realization that your own parents don’t love and accept you unconditionally and failed at protecting you, is a hard pill to swallow, but swallow it I did. It took time, but I learned to accept it. In accepting it, I learned to forgive them. I have made peace within myself, knowing I was then, as I am now, worthy of their love. The fact that they can’t or don’t know how falls on them. Because they are my parents, I can say I do love them irregardless……………I’m also going back and ‘stealing’ what I wrote the last time. I know I said I wasn’t going to look back, but what I wrote then remains true today.  

Dear Little One

I promise you protection,
 To keep the monsters at bay.
Not hand you over to them,
Turning a blind eye all the way……

I promise you All my love,
Unconditionally,
Unequivocally,
You have my heart

I promise to hold you close,
Never will I push you away.
I want you in my life you see,
Because you are a part of me…..

I promise no comparisons,
Instead, embracing all
That makes you, YOU….

I promise to listen,
To hear what you have to say.
Not turning a deaf ear,
And walking away…..

I promise to encourage you,
To be there for you,
Because you Are Worthwhile….

Never to be thrown away
Onto the garbage pile

©lindafedroff-march10,2016

My Magic Moments

Over at The Sandbox, for week 26 we’re asked the following…it’s actual a two-fer if we’re so inclined to dig along!!

                                What makes life magical?

          What would your perfectly magical day be like?

 

*******************************************************

Im combining the two cause that just how I roll…..
To answer the first question, “What makes life magical?” My response at this moment in my life was being and spending time with Jim. The magical moments of my life were moments, that when added up, equate to 14 years of a magical journey with the man I love.

Magic was meeting someone, who for all intent and purposes, was NOT my idea of who I would or should be with.
Magic was that first, unexpected kiss. Magic was the torrential rainstorm we got caught up in after our wedding. Magic was that amazing blanket of comfortable silence that wrapped us when we were together.

Magic was packing our bags and moving to another state with $400 in our pockets, no jobs but lots of dreams.

Magic was living out that dream, by the beach
Magic was all those mimosa sunrises we were blessed to witness together.
Magic was living as much of a lifetime as we could in the time we were allotted.

My Magic was and Is Loving Jim.

As for the second question, “What would your perfectly magical day be like?”
My Perfect Day would be to spend just one more day with Jim, on the beach, from sun up till sun down. Mimosas in the morning, cooking breakfast on the Coleman stove set out on the tailgate of our truck. Fishing lines casted out. The beach entirely to ourselves. A skinny dip. Talking, laughing, loving.

Raw oysters and beer in the late afternoon…long walk on the beach talking and reminiscing. More laughing, more loving.

Sun is setting…cuddled up around a small fire on the beach. I’m breathing in his scent knowing he has to go back. No words need to be spoken now. Tears do begin to silently fall, he brushes mine away, I brush his away. And then, my Magical Day slips away into the darkness, riding the waves to eternity. All the while We Know. Our Love is Forever. ❤

Top photo via Pixabay

B&Wphoto via Reddit

A Determined Woman 👊

 

A little break in the humidity had me hurrying up with this weeks dig over at The Sandbox Writing Challenge This weeks prompt is as follows:

Do you see something of yourself in this little child? If so, what?

*********************************************************************

Isolation mixed with a Strong Will of Determination.

As my journey continues….even now at 21 months along, I feel both these things. The Isolation one feels when losing a spouse is an inevitable yet uniquely individual one. Whether I’m surrounded by those who care and love me, or just out shopping, walking, whatever/wherever, inevitably, out of the blue, a wave of Isolation can hit. Ironically, I have felt the most isolated and alone when I’m out, among people, not when I am home alone.

 

Case in point. I was invited and attended my first 4th of July gathering. I was excited to go and for the most part enjoyed myself. My daughters friends and families are wonderful people, and I was openly and warmly welcomed. Had a wonderful conversation with one of the guys moms, ate some great food and watched my grandchildren having a ball. A few hours in though, all of a sudden, I looked up, everyone was milling about with their significant others and I was sitting alone. At that moment, a tsunami of loneliness hit me….I quickly said my goodbyes and made a fast exit. I needed to get home to the safety and solitude of my space. Ironically, in the comfort and safety of my home, that isolated feeling of loneliness dissipated.

 

I have felt and lived a good part of this journey feeling a disconnectedness if you will, until I went to my first widows Meetup for coffee. For the first time since Jims death, I felt a sense of belonging . I felt connected and understood……..I felt safe to share all those feelings others could and would sympathize with, but not fully understand. I walked out of that first meet up with a smile, thinking these are ‘my people’. As time continues, I have no doubt that this feeling of isolation will lessen.

 

AND……I Am Determined. I’m Determined to continue to wake every morning with a Grateful heart, acknowledging my blessings for this life I’ve been given. I Am Determined to continue to grow and find my way. I Am Determined to step out of my comfort zones, picking up some of the scattered pieces of my life that are worth salvaging, while stepping around the ones that no longer serve me and Live. I Am Determined to live this life of mine in the richness of each moment. Jims death has and is continually teaching me that…

 

 

With Determination and a Strong Will I GROW STRONGER

 

Photo courtesy of A Woman’s Heart and Soul