Monday Blessing

After a week or so of rain, the sun has finally found its way back to NC ☀️😊

Took a little soul-stroll along my property and was gifted with some daffodil blooms 💛

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💛

Blessing

May you move through the day

with eyes open to the God

who shines like the sun

within and around you. 

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Blessing courtesy of Sanctuary Of Women

Writing My Story📝

My story…proof that life can be scary and bizarre, yet wonderful. Heartbreaking yet amazing. 

My story…is far from finished, and it won’t be till I’m in the ground ( in my case, my ashes scattered to the wind). New passions. New adventures. New people. New purpose. Possibilities arise with each new day.

My story…the next new chapter of my life is being  written. 

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My Life = Moments Of Becoming and Achieving My Dreams and Aspirations 

Found this tucked away in my journal from 2015….it deserves to see the light again. 

THINKING OUT LOUD

There is a place where my soul feels at rest. Where my heart beats in a gentle rhythm and my feet are steady.

There is a time when I feel alive from my head to my toes. When I know I’m living my purpose. When I am my most authentic self.

There is a place where my hips sway to a pulse known only to me. Where my mind wanders in and out with the waves. Where my eyes shine with the sun.

There is a time when I am grounded and simple. When I am full. When I am easy. When everything just works.

There is a place without struggle. Without fear. Without worry. Without barriers. Where I can feel. A place where I can see.

There is a time when there is only love, and light, and happiness. Where there is song, and dance, and celebration, of living.

There is a place that sparks a change. That grows the will of ten thousand men and the strength of a million. There is a place that inspires a new existence.

There is a time that is right. Opportunities are abundant. Thanks are offered. Praise given freely. When I just know. When I just, do.

There is a place. There is a time.

This is that place. That time is now.

(Author Unknown)

 

Happy New Years Eve..2018

 

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Happy New Years Eve Everyone!! Hard to believe another year has come and gone. I have no complaints with my 2018. For all intent and purposes it was good to me. I will be spending today and tonight, home alone., reflecting, contemplating, and planning…….I have much to be Thankful for…..these beautiful humans, my children and grandchildren ❤️

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this is what it’s all about ❤️

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I miss my Pa bunch ❤️

I’m Thankful for ‘my tribe’….their friendship and understanding has been good Medicine this year.

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Love these ladies ❤️

My Earth Angels…..you know who you are ❤️🙏 Your continued love, encouragement and support during this journey has also been good Medicine…I Love You 🙏❤️

 

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Gotta Luv Art Therapy 

 

New Year = what for me? I have no clue….but I’m open to whatever comes my way…while this has been my second full year of my widow’s journey, it is my Hope and Plan to go into 2019 with both feet on the ground (I need my grounding!) all the while still spreading my wings and riding my Winds Of Change. I do know I want and need to go into this New Year taking the emphasis off of widow and putting it back on Linda the Living. Being a widow is and always will be a part of who I am, but it’s not what defines me………..change also means figuring out the changes I need to make here with my blog. I’ve been floundering with it and it’s purpose……I’m up for the challenge though……….

So Maddox and I wish y’all a very Happy New Year 🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊

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Happy New Year 🎉

Solitude vs. Loneliness

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Solitude:

noun

1.

the state of being or living alone; seclusion:

to enjoy one’s solitude.

2.

remoteness from habitations, as of a place; absence of human activity:

the solitude of the mountains.

3.

a lonely, unfrequented place:

a solitude in the mountains.

 

From <http://www.dictionary.com/browse/solitude?s=t>

 

Loneliness:

 

adjective, lonelier, loneliest.

1.

affected with, characterized by, or causing a depressing feeling of being alone; lonesome.

2.

destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship, intercourse, support, etc.:

a lonely exile.

3.

lone; solitary; without company; companionless.

4.

remote from places of human habitation; desolate; unfrequented; bleak:

a lonely road.

5.

standing apart; isolated:

a lonely tower.

 

It is said that time heals…the pain lessens. Today is 326 days since I’ve started this journey of grief and widowhood. The pain has not lessened. The emptiness remains. I have a few companions that have been a part of this journey for quite sometime now, though the role of one has changed considerably over the last 326 days………

Solitude and Loneliness

2 words which when one reads their meanings via the dictionary, are very close relatives in their meanings….

To me, whenever I utter the word Solitude, it brings about feelings of peace, of calmness. I’ve always needed my solitude, craved it and was/is selfish in my need for it. I still need it. Even in this new life of mine, I need my solitude. My Soul Strolls through the parks of my new ‘home’ town, as busy as they are, I can still find places to ‘hide’ amongst the trees. The solitude I experience and am blessed with in my own backyard helps me heal the parts of me that are still broken………..

Loneliness is a whole different feeling. I know what it’s like to be a child, shunned and pushed aside. Forgotten and passed over. As an adult, I know what loneliness feels like to live in a house with ones family, and in the midst of raising that family, feel and be very much alone. The loneliness I’m living and experiencing now is the most painful I’ve had to live with. I’ve said in the past that I am comfortable in my aloneness and have found that I was kidding myself with that. I was comfortable with it because of Jim. It was easy to speak and believe those words as I lived my days as a WE, an US.

Now, as I go about my days, solitude helps me heal, but as the day turns into early evening; dusk, as the light begins to fade, as the minutes tick away, and darkness descends, it brings loneliness along. Its there in the shadows, inevitably, it takes hold of my soul and squeezes tight. Loneliness has become my companion. Where it used to be conversation and laughter, or comfortable silence between us, my truth is, I am no longer us. I am me, and as the sun sets, I am alone.

While solitude is a welcomed companion, loneliness is an unwanted one. Yet every evening, it comes calling. I try hard to slam the door on it, to not let it in, yet it finds a way. I do my best to ignore its presence, fixating my attention on a program or book. But it insists on my attention, finding ways of distracting me, pulling me in to its clutches. Oh there are nights I beat it back, beat it back good, but the fact remains, no matter how busy I keep myself in the light of day, I can’t always outrun and hide from it when the sun sets…………so when I’m in its clutches, I allow myself to live it and feel it, I succumb to it and let it have its way. I have found that by doing so, its need for me lessens, at least for a little while………….

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