Happy New Years Eve 2019

The hands of time

Tick tocking the moments away.

Soon,

The final chapter

Of this book will be written,

The last period put in place.

And the book will be closed.

Reflection will follow.

There were stormy seas

That pounded and tried to break me.

There were times of peaceful calm,

When all seemed right.

What I have found

On this journey,

Is that my life

Is/was somewhere in the middle.

The rough seas help make me stronger.

The calm revitalizes.

In the middle, I find a cohesiveness

That makes my life’s journey

Explicitly my own.

The book is closed now.

A new one ready to be written.

While I hold the pencil ( I like to have the ability to erase)

God will guide my hand

and help me turn the page,

Let the journey continue.

©linda_december

Happy New Years Eve Folks!! This gal is under the weather, so I’ll be snuggling in with meds, tissues and Philip 😻

There’s gonna be a whole lot of reflection going on, a decades worth 😳 as I say bye bye 2019 and hello 2020. It boggles my mind to think that 2020 will be the fourth full year that Jim isn’t here. So much change, growth, transformation has occurred in my life. The me-myself and I, I am today, is unrecognizable of who I was at the end of 2016. I know he’s proud if me. I’m proud of me.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

3 Years….My Journey Continues 👣

3 Years ago today, my Jim walked out the door, and my life forever changed.

I’ve Missed Your Face

I’ve Missed Your Smile

I’ve Missed Your Laugh

All this while….

But what I Miss most

Is Who We Used to be..

The we – we were

When it was You and Me.

You’re gone from this world

But you LIVE in my heart

Till we meet again

And are no longer apart.

I Love you husband

I always will

Our Love hasn’t died

It grows and LIVES still.

©linda fedroff_october14

I walk the beach in the predawn hours. Sky in monotones of gray, not going to be much of a sunrise this morning. Airs a bit chilly, water cool on my skin as I soul stroll. There’s enough of a breeze for the sea foam to partner and dance with. Aside from the gulls and plovers, I am alone.

I stop and stand at the waters edge, watching as the sky lightens with each passing moment.

Closing my eyes, I can hear the whispers on the wind asking me “what is your story?” All the while the waves lap up and around my feet, anchoring me in that spot, as if waiting and begging for my answer…….and what is my answer on this day, three years since my Jim left this world??

My life continues to move forward,

And I’m continuing to grow.

I’m given a choice to make every single morning,

And what I choose is to get up each and every day,

Thank the Good Lord, and ask for his continued guidance.

I start my day determined to live and find

My purpose, all the while never losing sight of all

The blessings in my life.

I shouted out into the wind, that I Choose Hope.

I came back here to celebrate Jim and his memory.

And I thank God every day for the gift of loving Jim

And he loving me, and for the adventure and life we shared.

Until we meet again husband, I will continue to live my life out loud

And make you proud. This is how I Choose to Live.

[The body dies…but love…that lives on and continues to grow]

St. Francis Prayer Center

It’s been a full week since I attended the #writepublishpromote writers incentive retreat. I’m still trying to wrap my head around the entire experience. I wanted to share the grounds the retreat was held at. St. Francis Springs Prayer Centerproved to be the ideal place for me to be. The peaceful serene setting truly is a healing place. The fact that Saint Francis was my favorite Patron Saint as a little girl was not lost to the adult ‘child’ I am now 😊

I was excited there was a labyrinth on the grounds. I’d always wanted to stroll one….Early morning Soul-Strolls walking the labyrinth is how I started each morning.

A small waterfall was also on the grounds……there was no denying the positive energy my entire being was absorbing….

Of course I was surrounded by the ‘Dear Old Ones’ 💚🌳

And here’s a small sampling of the art work that caught my eye. Yep, there is a certain rhythm to these 😊🌳

All-In-All this was not, at least for me, just a Writing Incentive Retreat. This truly was a Spiritual Awakening as well. I’m still having a hard time finding the words to describe it all. Writers Block?!?! How’s that for irony?!?!? Was on a writers retreat and I’m at a loss for words…but I know they will come!!!!!

Learning To Fly

I woke wayyyyy early this morning, knowing the date I was not going to fall back to sleep. Instead, words started filling my head so I started typing myself a note…that note to Jim turned into this. I remember and I celebrate ❤ I. Miss. You. Husband ❤

22 months ago you gained your wings.
I did too.
While yours took your spirit ‘Home’
I was left behind,
To
Teach myself and learn
How to fly..solo.
I was like a fledgling
At first,
I couldn’t quite get myself off the ground.
But I persisted.
And, guess what?!
I’m persevering!
I’m flying babe…..
I’m flying.
I’m doing things.
I’m going places.
I’m growing.
On my own.
On my own
Yet…
I know as surely as I’m breathing,
That your spirit and energy
Are helping to guide me……
Giving lift to these
Wings of mine,
I’m now riding the winds of change.
©lindafedroff_august14,2018

My Magic Moments

Over at The Sandbox, for week 26 we’re asked the following…it’s actual a two-fer if we’re so inclined to dig along!!

                                What makes life magical?

          What would your perfectly magical day be like?

 

*******************************************************

Im combining the two cause that just how I roll…..
To answer the first question, “What makes life magical?” My response at this moment in my life was being and spending time with Jim. The magical moments of my life were moments, that when added up, equate to 14 years of a magical journey with the man I love.

Magic was meeting someone, who for all intent and purposes, was NOT my idea of who I would or should be with.
Magic was that first, unexpected kiss. Magic was the torrential rainstorm we got caught up in after our wedding. Magic was that amazing blanket of comfortable silence that wrapped us when we were together.

Magic was packing our bags and moving to another state with $400 in our pockets, no jobs but lots of dreams.

Magic was living out that dream, by the beach
Magic was all those mimosa sunrises we were blessed to witness together.
Magic was living as much of a lifetime as we could in the time we were allotted.

My Magic was and Is Loving Jim.

As for the second question, “What would your perfectly magical day be like?”
My Perfect Day would be to spend just one more day with Jim, on the beach, from sun up till sun down. Mimosas in the morning, cooking breakfast on the Coleman stove set out on the tailgate of our truck. Fishing lines casted out. The beach entirely to ourselves. A skinny dip. Talking, laughing, loving.

Raw oysters and beer in the late afternoon…long walk on the beach talking and reminiscing. More laughing, more loving.

Sun is setting…cuddled up around a small fire on the beach. I’m breathing in his scent knowing he has to go back. No words need to be spoken now. Tears do begin to silently fall, he brushes mine away, I brush his away. And then, my Magical Day slips away into the darkness, riding the waves to eternity. All the while We Know. Our Love is Forever. ❤

Top photo via Pixabay

B&Wphoto via Reddit