We All Are…..

A week ago, my writing coach Carol messaged me a challenge. She was waiting to see what I’d come up with in reference to a sketch one of my fellow participants drew for her. Not only is he a writer, but this guy can draw and paint like there is no tomorrow…..he drew this for Carol after  only just meeting all of us, from memory!!! 

 

So with that Challenge planted firmly in my head, I turned in for the night, only to find I couldn’t get these two words out of my head, so I jotted them down….diversity and tapestry.

When I woke, I pondered these words, trying to put something together……all it took was a hot shower..by the time I got out of the shower it had written itself!!! 

 CHALLENGE MET!!! 👊

Seven of us came together,
As different as different can be.
Around that table sat
An abundance of diversity…..

With…..

A common goal we shared.
To tap into our creativity…

We came in as individuals.
With ideas in our heads.
Of what we hoped to accomplish
To help us move ahead…

Little did we know,
By the end of this retreat,
Our ideas of who and what we are
Would expand dramatically…

All our threads of differences
Began to entwine,
To form a Beautiful tapestry,
Of strength and hope Divine…
We came as individuals
We left there so much more….

For……

We all are writers, we all are artists
We all are coaches and we All are Believers……
©lindafedroff_august20,2018

 

Creative Hunger

This week in The Sandbox Writing Challenge    

Roberta Allen wants to know:

WHAT DO YOU HUNGER FOR?

And we’re not just talking about food here. What is there in your life that you feel you need to sustain you, or would help to sustain you — it may just be wishful thinking, but identifying that need is a crucial, pivotal point in our dreams and desires. Can’t wait to see what you come up with this week!

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Though this weeks Challenge was presented to us last week, I’m just now getting to it, and I do believe there was a reason I procrastinated, albeit unconsciously.

I went away for the weekend and attended my very first retreat.The facilitator of this particular retreat was a friend, the purpose, writing.

#writepublishpromote has been a dream of Carols. A dream she brought to life. When I decided to commit to this weekend, it was with a bit, ok, A Lot of trepidation at first. Am I really a writer?!? Am I good enough to even call myself that?!? Was I worth the investment?!?! I decided I was…..and I Am!!

Like a sponge ( or for the sake of this prompt, like a big ole piece of bread soaking up all the yummy gravy in the bottom of the bowl!) I soaked up Carol’s knowledge…..

I spent time with crazy talented, creative people. We shared and played off of each other’s creativity. We even had Santa Clause in the mix…….I’m hungry for more time with these amazing people. We met on Friday as strangers….we shared 6 meals together and hours of our words, and thoughts, and ideas. We came together as strangers and departed family. What a gift to be a part of this first writers group. Can’t wait for the reunion 😊

I’m hungry for more words to be written…….more photos to be taken…more pictures to be painted…..I’m finding my creative appetite to be insatiable. Guess I need to get my butt in gear and start feeding it huh?!?!?! 😄

What My Smile Is Saying – Sandbox Writing Challenge – Exercise 28

Alrighty, after skipping a week and letting the sand settle a bit, it’s time to pick up the shovel and get back to digging over at The Sandbox Writing Challenge. This weeks prompt is………………

What could possibly make me feel this way?

Love this!!! Have you been flattered, gifted, surprised, overwhelmed, been made proud of someone, just seen something funny… Can’t wait to see what ya’ll come up with!
As always, remember to include the link to this post on YOUR blog post. Or if your response isn’t overly long, feel free to leave it in the comment section below. And please feel free to interpret the prompt however you wish: memoirs, poems, pictures, etc.

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Would you recognize
This woman I’m growing to be?
Cause the truth of the matter is
I’m not the same woman I used to be.
The day you unexpectedly left,
My world turned upside down.
On my own for the first time
I felt I just might drown……

Not only did I not drown
I’m growing inside you see.
A different Linda’s emerging each day
For all the world to see….

Gaining strength and confidence
Mixed with some independence too.
I like this new Linda I’m becoming
Considering all I’ve been through.

AND

Knowing you as I do
You’d embrace and be proud of this new me.
With continued words of encouragement
To live my life care-free…

You were always my biggest supporter
Cheerleader.
My Rock.
Knowing you’d not only approve
But dig this new Me
That’s no shock………….

I’m blessed knowing your ‘out there’
Your overwhelming love and energy I feel.
Wherever this journey takes me
My smile will reveal…..

A woman who was gifted
To be wife to an amazing man
Who’s Love lives on inside her heart
Until they meet again.
©lindafedroff_august13,2018

22 months you’ve been gone…I Will Always Love You Husband ❤

 

A Determined Woman 👊

 

A little break in the humidity had me hurrying up with this weeks dig over at The Sandbox Writing Challenge This weeks prompt is as follows:

Do you see something of yourself in this little child? If so, what?

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Isolation mixed with a Strong Will of Determination.

As my journey continues….even now at 21 months along, I feel both these things. The Isolation one feels when losing a spouse is an inevitable yet uniquely individual one. Whether I’m surrounded by those who care and love me, or just out shopping, walking, whatever/wherever, inevitably, out of the blue, a wave of Isolation can hit. Ironically, I have felt the most isolated and alone when I’m out, among people, not when I am home alone.

 

Case in point. I was invited and attended my first 4th of July gathering. I was excited to go and for the most part enjoyed myself. My daughters friends and families are wonderful people, and I was openly and warmly welcomed. Had a wonderful conversation with one of the guys moms, ate some great food and watched my grandchildren having a ball. A few hours in though, all of a sudden, I looked up, everyone was milling about with their significant others and I was sitting alone. At that moment, a tsunami of loneliness hit me….I quickly said my goodbyes and made a fast exit. I needed to get home to the safety and solitude of my space. Ironically, in the comfort and safety of my home, that isolated feeling of loneliness dissipated.

 

I have felt and lived a good part of this journey feeling a disconnectedness if you will, until I went to my first widows Meetup for coffee. For the first time since Jims death, I felt a sense of belonging . I felt connected and understood……..I felt safe to share all those feelings others could and would sympathize with, but not fully understand. I walked out of that first meet up with a smile, thinking these are ‘my people’. As time continues, I have no doubt that this feeling of isolation will lessen.

 

AND……I Am Determined. I’m Determined to continue to wake every morning with a Grateful heart, acknowledging my blessings for this life I’ve been given. I Am Determined to continue to grow and find my way. I Am Determined to step out of my comfort zones, picking up some of the scattered pieces of my life that are worth salvaging, while stepping around the ones that no longer serve me and Live. I Am Determined to live this life of mine in the richness of each moment. Jims death has and is continually teaching me that…

 

 

With Determination and a Strong Will I GROW STRONGER

 

Photo courtesy of A Woman’s Heart and Soul

 

 

The Sandbox Writing Challenge 3….Stillness

The Sandbox Writing Challenge…Stillness…..What is it that keeps you from being still?

 

In the past, remembering the ugliness of my childhood and the toxicity of family relations would constantly pop up in my head, like scenes from a movie…..so hard to turn off. It wasn’t until I made peace with all of it, accepted my past for what it was, forgave (the forgiving was/is for me, not them.) and finally letting it go. Until I could do that, the mental, emotional and spiritual stillness I was searching and craving was never going to happen…….this didn’t happen overnight. It was, and in many ways, still is a work in progress…I’m a work in progress. But, I’ve come a long way………

There was also the guilt factor….the feeling of selfishness, especially in my first marriage, when the kids were younger. As far as the ex was concerned, I was a wife and mother..that was my job…there was no me. The whole idea of me needing or wanting some me-time was positively ludicrous……..

Pain….physical pain, does prevent me from enjoying my meditative stillness I had so recently found….I’m finding new ways (walking meditation for one) to roll with it and make it work….I refuse to let the pain win this one…I’ve worked to hard on the mental stuff to have the physical take it away from me.

…and of course the proverbial monkey mind that likes to come and call whenever I try and be still…..which is why I do use guided meditation a lot of the times…it helps drown out the monkey mind…sometimes!!

All in all, at this point in my life, I can honestly say I have found some stillness…I no longer feel guilty about….and I AM selfish with my stillness and alone time, sometimes to a fault, but I make no apologies for this…as far as I’m concerned, I’ve earned the right to Be STILL…….